Armageddon avoided

So, it's looks as if the Yankees and Derek Jeter will kiss and make up, exchanging a giant pile of money in the process.

The timeless and time-honored "sources" are saying Jeter will three years and $51 million with an option, his, for a fourth.

$17 million per year, a slight pay cut, but certainly not chump change.

Odds are Jeter will bounce back this season. He has a lot to play for and getting bounced from the playoffs did give him some extra off-season time to get healthy.

That said, the Jeter dollars have been on the Yankees books for a decade, so it's not as if anything much changes.

And we get to keep our vaunted and valued leader. Life without DJ and Mo and those guys will be back enough. Life without them, even in the latter stages of their illustrious careers would have been downright unpalatable.

So, cheers to the Yanks for ponying up those dollars. And no, brace for a ticket price hike. Or some other ridiculous money-making scheme that will chew up the infield/outfield and pee just a little bit on the Yankees status as the highest wage earner in MLB.

Honestly: The Pinstripe Bowl?

Oh Derek ...

This will not end well.

The Yanks shot themselves in the face with the Posada contract, now DJ wants in on the action, and he probably deserves it.

That said, I wish he would have gone the Paulie O route and done year-to-year contracts based on his health and production.

But that's a perfect world and the Yankees vast fortune can't make it such.

The Yankees will cave to Jeter's four-year demand, but God help him if he goes all Willie Mays on us.

Derek, buddy, we will turn on you. We will hurl invective at you. We will question your hustle, your health, your legacy. We shout unpleasant things at you, and when we leave the Stadium, or turn off the TV or radio, we will feel guilty and lament doing so, knowing you don't deserve any of it, but also knowing we have no other choice but to do so.

So, take your year and your money, as the Yankees will surely give it to you, as much for us and for the organization, but don't say we didn't warn you.

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee

We're talking effing Lee.

Or, the Yankees are, anyway. Because it's all about pitching. And they know this.

They also know Jorge ain't a catcher no more. He's a DH. He was a DH last year. The quicker he comes to grips with this, the quicker he can get on with his career, extended by five to eight seasons.

He's the ideal DH for the Yankees, or any team really, but only the Yankees will pay the freight for him. Such is their curse.

Anyway, the pinstripers need more, reliable pitching, and a rotation of Sabathia, Lee, Pettitte, Burnett (the good version) and Phil Hughes is really more a video rotation. But, whatever. The Giants won the title with pitching, mostly home grown. The Yankees got bounced because they couldn't hit, couldn't pitch and got dinged up at the worst possible time.

The Yanks will dump some dead weight, and reload for next season with more golden bullets.

Also, Derek Jeter deserved the Golden Glove, so you haters can shut your faces. Six errors. Six. You're graded by the plays you make. He makes them.

Just a bit outside

Three great storylines so far in the ALDS:

Curtis Granderson is smacking bee bees everywhere because of one tiny adjustment. I assume Kevin Long told him to keep that top hand on the bat through the strikezone, that's the obvious change in Granderson's stroke. That and he's hitting everything on the barrel. Pretty sure being a hitting is more than "Curtis, hit the ball better."

Andy Pettitte came off the DL and had a great start. In his next two, he looked uncomfortable in his own skin. Last night, he looked like postseason Andy Pettitte. There's something tremendously comforting about him on the mound. He's not blowing guys away, he's locating pitches and setting batters up. You never expect a complete meltdown.

Lance Berkman had two hits and 2 RBIs last night. He drove in the game winning run after taking what some people, including the Twins manager, thought was a strike. Fine, that pitch may have been a strike, but no one's talking about the two pitches Berkman took for strikes one and two, which were clearly outside. Plate umpire Hunter Wendelstedt's zone was 8 inches off the plate for lefties and and there was no outside edge righties.

So shut up whiners. The Yanks look as if they flipped the proverbial switch after being so terribly and completely awful in September.

Can't wait for Saturday.

Oh Yankees, was that heart I detected? Way to be Grandie ...

Fine Roy Halladay. We get it. You're good.

New season

Same old Yankees.

Here's to hoping the nightmare that was September pulls a Maverick, slams on the breaks and lets the enemy MIG fly right by.

Hmmm ... but of a stretch there.

Anyway, the Yankees had the sense to bench Burnett and go with CC, Pettitte and Phil Hughes, who apparently was granted bonus innings for the post-season run.

I'm not worried about the Twins (minus Morneau), and considering how brutal the AL has been, it's really anyone's title to take.

It'll be Yankees/Rays in the ALCS, and because I'm a homer, I have to pick the Yankees.

NLDS will by Phillies/Giants with the Phillies easily getting into the World Series.

Sadly, it looks as if the Phillies are the best team among the eight. Their offense is fine, but the pitching, oh, the pitching ...

The lesson here being the Yankees better do what they can to get Cliff Lee in pinstripes next season.

So, yeah ... the playoffs

Consider my absence me holding my breath, closing my eyes and sticking my fingers in my ears.

I haven't recovered from the Steinbrenner monument unveiling. And then to watch the Yankees stagger like drunken sailors, dropping game after winnable game, was just too awful.

I tuned in last night, after watching "The 10th Inning," Ken Burns' two-part post script, to see CC Sabathia on the mound for the 9th. No sooner did the the words "Hey, that's nice, CC's gonna get a chance to finish a game," out pops Joe Girardi to yank him and bring in Mo.

Nothing changes with this guy.

At this point, I'm in the USS Anybody But Him. Bring Dallas Green back. Bring in anyone. Put a mannequin in the dugout I don't care. Joe must go.

Camden Yards sounds like Yankee Stadium. Ouch O's. Ouch.

If you ain't cheatin' ...

I think my least favorite phrase (for the next few minutes at least) is "teachable moment."

Apparently Derek Jeter provided parents "a teachable moment."

That's for those parents not creative enough to come up with their own lesson plans.

Really? Jeter faking an umpire, getting first, and putting his team in a position to win (it didn't) is a lesson for children? How so? I remember when what Jeter did was called "gamesmanship" and it was largely applauded as the extra effort winner give to lift their teams to victory.

Jeter took the Jeffrey Mayer home run. No one criticized him.

Armando Galarraga lost a perfect game on a blown call. The base runner didn't say "No no, sir. I'm out." He took his base.

AJ Pierzynski stole first base in the 2005 ALCS and a swinging third strike the umpire said the catcher didn't catch. He did. AJ took first, was pinch run for. That guy stole second and eventually scored the winning run of the series. Was that a "teachable moment"? Or wasn't it, because Pierzynski is widely considered an a-hole.

Cheating in baseball is a funny thing. There's a stat called "stolen base." Players steal signs. Fielders try to decoy runners. What's the difference with a player decoying an umpire? He even said the ball didn't hit him. The ump said take your base. He took his base. That's baseball.

The answer is none. But it's a story. And it's a story that won't go away because it's Jeter. And it's New York. And the economy isn't tanking and the Palestinians and Israelis aren't seconds from abandoning peace talks again ...

Nah. Let's pay attention to this.

Huh? And also, Aaawhaaaa?

Joe Girardi continues to confuse me.

After the Yankees literally stole two runs, and kudos to Joe Madden for not stopping until the umpire had no choice but to eject him, the traditionally twitchy Girardi has NO ONE up in the bullpen to relieve Phil Hughes in the 7th, should trouble arise.

Two outs, a walk, and a titanic bomb later — from Dan Johnson of all people — the Yankees are losing and eventually, they've lost.

I'm all for leaving the starter to his fate. Make no mistake. I'm just baffled the Girardi suddenly reverse-skates on his entire philosophy of never trusting a starter, he trusts a starter, lets him face a guy who already leaned into one two-run homer, and sees him hit a second.

Even in a loss though, the highlight of the game was Jeter selling that foul ball as if it hit him. The little glance back at the umpire, the grimace, the manager and the trainer wobbling out. The Granderson home run immediately after. In 1998, that moment turns into an avalanche in the Yankees' favor. In 2010, the Yanks can't even get a shutdown inning in the bottom of that frame.

Is this really the Devil collecting his due?

Slump. Down year. Whatever. Derek Jeter is the smartest guy on the field.

U G L Y they ain't got no alibi

But at least they won.

I'm starting to get the same feeling watching Yankees/Rays that I get watching Yankees/Red Sox: a mixture of annoyance, nerves, frustration, possibly constipation. I don't know.

How do you blow a 6-1 lead? How do you hang a rookie pitcher out to dry, when you hook a your horse after 8 2/3 when he's a proven finisher? It's as if Joe Girardi is managing backward.

The guy really makes no sense. His contract can't end soon enough.

And so, the Yankees some how find themselves back in first place, by the grace of a pinch hit bomb, 24 innings into a three-game set with another to go and Phil Hughes on the mound.

Boycott continues ... kinda

That was the best pitching performance I never saw.

All right, I saw some of it, but after Gaudin's shaky inning, the writing was on the wall.

In the biggest series of the season, in a game you have to win, despite what Girardi will say, you go with Sergio Mitre in the 11th? The guy throws 5 pitches, the game is over and you're in second place. Where you should have been for the last week.

My two favorite things to yell at the TV these days are "Don't you take him out" and "Put that damn book down and manage the team." This is both pointless and embarrassing. I feel like Mickey in Rocky II, reacting to Apollo saying Rocky got lucky. I kick over my TV tray and storm, at ranting.

Of course, by "kick over my TV tray," I mean "Reach for my chocolate milk on my TV tray" and by "storm out" I mean, "change the channel."

It's close. Shut up. It is.

Cowboys lose because of ridiculous fumble and a shoddy O line. Awful. Just awful.

My teams are finding new and excrutiating ways to ruin my sports fan experience. Yanks narrowly avoid one sweep, then get swept in Texas.

Walk off

AP PHOTO

Our hero ...

Great, now I'll have to hear from my about how dreamy Nick Swisher.

Fine. He is. But she doesn't have to rub it in my face.

On their faces

Did lose to the Orioles.

This is horrible. Two bloopers, a walk and three runs later, the game is over. In the first inning.

Beaten by a rookie, again.

And the Rays are smoking the Red Sox.

Day game today. Another must win.

Breath held ... now.

Stumbling

Can't lose to the Orioles.

CC will right the ship, so we got that.

Can't blame A-Rod for coming off the DL and the team going south. He's producing. The pitching stinks.

AJ Burnett's head is so far up his tookus it's eventually going to right itself. This can't not happen.

Brett Gardner will never reach his potential if he can't 1) execute a sac bunt and 2) bunt for base hits. He could win a batting title if the Yanks dig up Brett Butler and assign him as Gardner's personal bunting coach. This, or some similar scenario, also can't not happen.

Where was I?

Two topics seem inescapable these days:

Joe Giradi going to the Cubs.

Derek Jeter, in the throes of his worst year, and his expiring contract.

To the first, I say good riddance. Frankly, I don't know who's next in line, but I'm in the "Anybody but Joe" camp. Have fun in Chi-town JG. And take your braces with you.

As for Jeter, I just heard someone call him Marco Scutaro. Wow. And ouch.

Speculation is Jeter wants A-Rod money, or at least in the $20 million per year stratosphere. Other speculation if pinstripes aren't in Jeter's future, he doesn't care about the money and he's done.

Yankees fans, at least 99 percent of them, love DJ and imagining the Yankees without him is much like me trying to imagine my life without hands. It just doesn't compute.

Because it's not my money, I say, pay the man. Because it's Derek Jeter, I say, pay the man. But because he's hitting .260 and appears to be limping around the bases, I say ... um, how about do the Paul O'Neill and take contracts year to year. Derek's defense has never been better. At least there's that.

This situation would have been much less awkward had the Yankees and Jeter come to some kind of agreement last year, when the 35-year-old SS was playing out of his mind.

Some guys just need to stay where there are, whatever the cost. And considering the Yankees are well off, there are worse things the Yankees could do with there's money.

This could not be a bettef setup for a drilling. Please blast him. PLEASE!

Let's get ready to rumble (copyright Michael Buffer, 1953?)

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event.

In this corner, weighing at$200 and some-odd million, the Pinstripers of Panache, the Disciples of Discipline, the Masters of Manners, the the Connosieurs of Conscience, your New York Yankeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

In the other corner, a man who's never hit more than 16 home runs in any full season in the majors, a man who claims a mechanical adjustment, and not the Brady Anderson workout DVD, is responsible for his suddenly leading the major in home runs. Your Toronto Blue Jays rightfielder, Joooooooooooooooooseeeeeeeeeee Baaaaaaauuuuuuuuustiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiista.

I know it's just Dustin Moseley, but if the Yankees are fighting by the fourth inning, they should all turn in their jock straps.

Baustista better have an ice pack on some exposed and vital part of his body. Hell, Cito Gastin and Vernon Wells better be honing their tag team skills for the Joe Girardi and Tony Pena undercard.

The Jays have a winning record, but haven't done anything other than show they're better than the Orioles, not the worst franchise is sports because the Pirates and Raiders are still franchises.

Tonight better be a war.

Jose Bautista better enjoy that HR tonight. Tomorrow, he'll be icing sore ribs. Or someone else will be.

Super Nova. Good job by the rookie. Overcame a putrid call to turn in a good start. Technology is revealing umpires aren't as good as we thought.

Brett Gardner: baseball player

Hey Robbie, here's a stupid question, give me an answer that shows your selfish. If you don't, I'll ask again. Good onfield reporting at the Stadium.

Gotta love the hidden ball trick.

Idiot

You're down by six going into your team's last at bat.

You strike out a batter to end the eighth.

You celebrate and strut off the mound.

You are Jose Valverde.

You are an idiot.

Calling it a comeback

I look away, Kearns doubles and Yankees are running everywhere.

I look up and Ramiro Pena is hitting a grounder to the pitcher with no outs and second and third.

Complex deepens.

Edit/update: I look away, Brett Gardner drives in run No. 7. That's 22 runs in three boycott games.

Edit/update: I look away Gardner steals second, then Jeter unloads.

That's it, the boycott goes all season.

It is high, it is far

I looked up for a second and Miggy goes deep.

This is likely a self-fulfilling prophecy, but I don't care. I must look away. I'm starting to feel guilty.

The Boycott: Day 3

I'm still feeling pretty good about things, despite missing some excitement last night.

Yanks/Tigers are on in the office today, but I feel no compulsion to watch. In fact, considering the Yankees are scoring are again, I feel an obligation to keep my gaze firmly on my computer screen.

When I watched last night, Granderson struck out. I'm feeling like pinstripe kryptonite.

Boycott Day 2, Game 2

Yanks have scored 15 runs in two games. Maybe it's me. We'll see what happens Thursday night.

The Boycott: Day 1

After Monday night's 9th inning, after which I could manage only once hissed expletive (because my wife was sleeping) I made a decision. That decision, was to stop watching Yankees games.

I'm not taking a stand for civil rights or peace in the Middle East, this is a luxury I'm choosing to do without, so, I don't know how long it will last, probably as long as it takes my disgust to wear off. When that will happen, who knows?

I know enough about last night's game to say Sabathia pitched, the Yankees won. But, if A (Sabathia pitched, then usually B (the Yankees win), so yippee. What did I spend my time doing? Nothing more significant than watching a baseball game, but I didn't scream at the TV like a maniac, I didn't grind my teeth, but I was strangely compelled at times to maybe check the score, just to see what was happening.

Why? I don't know. There was nothing to gain from such an act. If the Yankees were losing, I'd just bitch about them. If they were winning, I'd probably bitch about how they should have won Monday night and how could they possibly choke up a lead and look so indifferent in doing so? How could Joe Girardi allow batters to go up swinging willy-nilly at a pitcher who clearly had no idea where the ball was going ... see ... this is why the boycott is in place.

Also, you should win any game during which the other team does this ...


Serious soul searching is needed if you don't.

Yes, that photo is from my TV.

The biggest choke jon in the history of last night

You know who I blame for last night's mess?

Jorge Posada.

The leadoff batter in the inning walks on four pitches that were no where near the the strike zone and Posada swings at the first two pitches he sees, grounding the second to first in what was nearly a double play.

I haven't check, but if Valverde isn't on the DL, he will be soon. The guy was clearly ailing, for one reason or another, and the Yankees simply let him of the hook.

I've never seen a closer perform that poorly — he threw something like 40 pitches — and be allowed to escape an inning — and celebrate. Seriously Jose, tone it down. You're not good enough to squat and gyrate and give ups to God or whatever else it is you do.

John Flaherty and Paul O'Neill were in the booth for the game. They were ... I'll say shocked ... by Posada's lack of plate discipline, then right on the money when they said Jeter was the wrong guy for that one-out bases loaded situation. "Tough spot," they said. This is Derek Jeter. Or is it? Anyway, he isn't going up there looking for a walk. Even the first few pitches he took, you could see it was an effort to hold up.

So, in that inning, Cano walks (he never does), Granderson singles (he went 3-3 after sucking most of the season) , Cervelli walks (he's slumping terribly), Gardner walks (young guy, could have been hacking, hot recently but awful second half), Valverde is teetering and Jorge and Jeter kill the inning. Even with Gardner trying to end Carlos Guillen's career at second.

This after being held scoreless for 17 innings by Brian Bullinger and Max Scherzer.

The "we've never seen this guy" thing is becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy and it's getting tiring.

I thought there was nothing worse than a Jose Valverde save. I was wrong. So very very wrong.

Dude behind the plate in a Jeter jersey. It could fit two Jeters.

This umpire is a disaster.

C'mon rain. Come funder. Come wightning.

Off to a good start. Two looking Ks and now down 2-0. Looking good Javy, looking good.

Damon's helmet waving was a bit much, considering the modest ovation.

I see the Tigers have taken my advice, although that's probably incidental.

Road trippin' and fallin' flat

Thank God that mess is over.

If I were an opposing manager, I'd bench my entire pitching staff — demote them, option them, whatever — if I were facing the Yankees.

You can't waste those AJ Burnett starts — that's two in a row now, with the rain-shortening, eventual loss to the Rangers — because you don't know how many you're going to get.

Brian Bullinger is 29. He was drafted when he was 21. And the Yankees happily, pathetically, handed him his first major league win.

Yet, the manager to outlast Cliff Lee and overcome a 6-1 deficit on this same road trip.

Cliff Lee. Brian Bullinger.

Even with Andy Pettitte's groin area on the shelf for who knows how long, the Yankees rotation hasn't been awful and the bull pen has been outstanding.

But watching this offense, or lack thereof, is brutal. If Cano or Tiexiera — and to be fair, A-Rod, who's inexplicably leading the league now — don't hit with runners on, no one does.

Curtis Granderson asked Kevin Long to remake his swing. Looks like the same old thing to me — pop ups and strikeouts. Lance Berkman continues his nightmare as a Yankees player. He just starting hitting and now he's dinged. Francisco Cervelli's weakness as a batter has been exposed and Brett Gardner, when he gets on, is a statue.

Of course, I happily lay blame at the feet of Joe Girardi. The man is clueless and while he may be fiery, as a fan, I want to see it. I watched Joe Torre sit and hold a bat for a decade. Now, we get to watch Joe Girardi sit and read a stat book.

Dave Eiland mound visits should be a drinking game. What is it with Yankees pitching coaches? Walk. Mound visit. Two guys on. Mound visit. Pitcher adjusts cup. Mound visit. What is he going to say that would suddenly make a pitcher stop sucking? Hey, AJ, throw strikes, OK? Don't let them hit the ball. Get the batters out.

Right, Coach, got it.

The Yankees return home 1 game up on the Rays, and only because they, and the Red Sox, have played just as poorly.

The Tigers and Mariners come to town for 7 games. The Yanks should take at least 5. Unless rookies pitch. Then it's hello third place.

R&R

I'm watching the Red Sox spray Ricky Romero's guts all over the Rodgers Center turf.

This is the same Ricky Romero, who, in his last start, allowed two hits to the Yankees and tossed a complete game.

Needless to say, this is ... disappointing.

Also, I may be through apologizing for Curtis Granderson. I love the way he carries himself on the field and off, but he strikes out way too much — especially in spots where he could at least make a productive contact out — to be in this Yankees lineup.

When did Joba Chamberlain turn into Kyle Farnsworth?

Dear Yankees fans. Pop fly comes near the stands, you get out of the Yankees' player's way. Or someone should drag you out of the way.

Rivalry renewed

I have to admit, I giggled a little (all right, a lot) after hearing Youkilis was out for the season.

But, the baseball fan in me cannot believe what a nightmare season the Red Sox have had. Give them credit for holding it together this long.

As for the Yankees, they have to sweep this series. Anything else is unacceptable, and frankly, embarrassing, considering the way they've played in the last two weeks.

Now that A-Rod is over his hump, and Tiexiera seems to be coming out of his season-long slumber, the offense will hopefully start clicking. Be nice if Berkman and Granderson made contact beyond infield popups.

A guy can dream.

Tip of the helmet

Three seasons ago, you wonder what the Yankees would have done the commemorate this milestone. Stop the game. Present Alex with a spiral ham and a Bentley?

Now, Alex, the teammate, the baseball player, rounds the bases, tips helmet twice and goes back into the dugout.

Good for you Alex.

Missed it by that much

So, A-Rod finally got it.

That's nice.

You know what else would be nice? The Yankees winning a game.

I don't know if A-Rod's inability to hit that elusive home run had anything to do with the collective funk they've been in, but hopefully that breaks them out of it.

I'm sure Ricky Romero is a nice enough guy, but he shouldn't be hurling 2-hit complete games

That's $100 million per hit. Nice job Yanks. Second place feel nice?

You buy my next bag of weed

I hate that commercial.

First, I can't figure out what game system they're playing.

Second, if they're playing a racing game, looking away from the screen for even a second means you crash. There's no time for witty banter.

Third, ever see your dad play videos games? He never wins. That kid would be so high, he'd make Matthew McConaughey look like the president of the straight edge society.

Anyway, the Yanks made some nice pickups for the stretch run with Berkman and Kearns. Where those guys fit in ... that's our intrepid manager's problem.

More importantly was how Kerry Wood handled his first interview with Kim Jones. He fought stupid questions with smart answers.

Will you pick Rivera's brain? Answer: I just got here.

Do you see yourself pitching the eighth? Answer: I just got here.

Do I ask the worst questions possible? Answer: I just got here, but yes, you do.

Fragile athletes, virgin pitchers and dangerous pies

First off, I'm a little peeved the Yankees' pie celebration has been unashamedly stolen by the rest of the league. Sure, the Yankees weren't the first pie people, but they rejuvenated the activity ... now word comes that the Marlins have banned pies because a player blew out a knee. Really?

Let's recap some other idiotic baseball boo boos:
Sammy Sosa's sneeze
Carl Pavano's everything, leading to a bad bum
Various wall punchers .. two Yankees on that list, Kevin Brown and now AJ Burnett
Kendry Morales jumping on home plate and breaking both his legs and his spine and killing six children in the crowd
Chris Coughlan tears a knee delivering the aforementioned pie

Tangential to this is Nats phenom Steven Strasburg was scratched from his start. Nothing major is wrong with him, but what is up with these fragile pitchers/players? Guys just shouldn't break down this easily.

I've watched two full Yankees games in the last two days. This is more uncommon than you might think.

That said, watching the Yankees swing helplessly at the pitches of a guy they've never seen is getting old. Last night it was Josh Tomlin, 25, making his first start. He went 7-plus and was helped by miscues, errors and some bad luck for the Yankees.

CC's start was good enough to get a win, but apparently not when so nobody kid is on the bump making a lineup full of stars and vets look like clowns. Argh. Maybe Girardi should bench every guy with more than a season of service the next time a rookie goes against them.

Flat brim should be outlawed.

This is the last time I say "Oh good, it's the Royals. And Bruce Chen. Yanks will score 15 tonight."

A win's a win but ...

So, Pettitte is injured, Hughes is shaky, Burnett needs anger management and Vasquez's puss, which is becoming Moyeruesque, is making the second half of the season and 2.5 game lead look awfully grim.

Oh, and the bullpen is a mess — only Robertson and Rivera appear capable of getting outs. Logan eats innings, but they're usually junk innings, Chamberlain looks like he's throwing BP. I'm not even sure who else is out there. Catino Mobley, Dwayne Johnson ... oh, Dustin Moseley. And then Park and Gaudin.

Granted, this is/was the Angels, and they always give the Yanks fits, no matter what kind of a team they field.

And now Ralph Houk is dead. When Sheppard and Steinbrenner died, I was asked who's next, and answer was obvious, but I didn't want to say. Then he fell before the old-timers' game and I thought, great, "I killed Yogi." But it looks as if the third was Houk, 90, who won 1,600+ games as a big league manager. Impressive.

Thanks Hideki

That didn't take long.

I actually said "That's too high."

Sadly, no responded, "Who gives a sh*t? It's gone."

Back from the break

I went to bed last night thinking the Yanks were in control. I'm gonna keep on thinking that, despite gagging up an 8-run loss like a cat with a bathing fetish.

As for this afternoon's game, Erik Aybar just killed the Angels with the decision to steal (try) third with 1 out and a 2-2 count on Bobby Abreu. Javy Vasquez couldn't get anyone out, couldn't get a swinging strike and was teetering on the brink of — you guessed it — going all cat-like with a 6-0 lead.

But Aybar gets caught and Javy gets the batter, survives — for now — at 6-3.

And Mike Scoscia is wearing the WTF face.

Good thing the Yanks won't need home field advantage to win the World Series.

Quick change

This morning I was going to celebrate David Ortiz's collapse in the second half, but instead, I'm stunned by the report that George Steinbrenner is dead.

Not saddened, George's relationship with MLB, the Yankees, the media, fans, everything, was up and down, love and hate. He wanted to win above everything, and sometimes his drive outpaced his brains. He built awful, expensive teams, in his absence, the Yankees built a dynasty.

When he returned after his suspension, his money and willingness to spend it, kept talent in place and new faces coming in ... for better of worse. Randy Johnson and Jason Giambi hearkened back to the days of Ed Whitson and Danny Tartabul and Andy Hawkins.

Steinbrenner's absence from the spotlight, he was always in it, and his virtual abdication of his throne to Hank and Hal, put some distance between the sadness most Yankees fans might feel. He's been gone for so long, his death doesn't create a void, it just makes us think about the things he did for the Yankees, the crazy things he said, the manager firings and rehirings, the feud with Yogi Berra and eventual reconciliation.

I guess now the only thing left is to mourn his death and celebrate that lunacy, the Bronx zoo George created, the championships he demanded and and billions he spent to get them.

Thanks George. You weren't the greatest. But you were ours.

Holy crap George is dead!

Only adults at a stadium who should have gloves are the players. HR derby or no.

From Albert Pujols: Hopefully he catch hot; take some pitch. Nice sentiment. Good advice. Still bored.

The best thing about Nick Swisher is the worst thing right now. Stopping hitting home runs!

HRD 3D? An additional dimension of boring.

Check that. First batter. Now two. Three home runs. Be fast, be merciful. For the record, my wife loves Nick Swisher. That's the reason we're watching.

Just suffered through Round 1 of the HR Derby. Taco Bell and State Farm are winning. Berman is subdued.

As good a time as any

Two good reasons to get this thing going again, if anyone is read:

The All-Star break and the passing of Bob Sheppard, the former PA guy for the Yankees. I call him that because there's nothing I can write about his status that hasn't already been written. So, in his honor I shall be clear, concise and correct about his service to the Yankees.

The Yanks are looking good at the kinda-sorta halfway point. Best record, a bunch of All-Stars, productive young players, a resurgent Mark Tiexiera ...

I'm a little disappointed Nick Swisher is participating and the home run derby. He's been fantastic in the first half, and history says those who try to go deep, go off the deep end in the second half. It was a relief to hear Robinson Cano was "convinced" to back out. But you get the feeling there was no convincing Swisher. It's his first trip to the ASG, maybe his only (maybe). So he's gonna live it up.

Hats off to the Yanks for spearheading the effort to get him on the roster. Incidentally, the wife lost count of how many times she voted for her boy. For the record, I voted four times. Having to input a verification code each time was annoying.

Sure hope the Yankees have learned their lessons with the boxing match. The field is shredded and someone is going to get hurt. Payoff can't be worth it.

So Roy Halladay gets touched up, but Jamie Moyer baffles everyone in pinstripes. Gotta love baseball.

On being a Yankees fan

It's not hard.

As a Yankees fan, you expect a certain level of play, of player. Yes, we've had four players, five, more, that don't come around all that often, with the right style of play and temperament and so on.

But for all the good/greatness the Yankees have, there's one thing that drives me nuts, and it played out during the Astros series. Yeah, the Astros stink, the team's two best players want out ... but it's still an MLB franchise, worth many millions.

Yet the NY media treats the Houston delegation as if they're a bunch of country bumpkins who never dun seen no skahscrapper befer.

Suzyn (seriously, Suzyn?) Waldman asked the Astros beat writer to describe the pitching matchup of yesterday's game, 8-1 Phil Hughes, 23, rising star, and Brian Moehller, journeyman, a bit of a junkballer ... the implication, of course, being the Astros would see Hughes stride toward the mound and wet themeselves with fear, and the Yankees would laugh mightily at the silly mortal sacrificed to them upon the bloody mound-altar.

Well, in a rain-soaked game with a pretty sketchy strike zone (for both sides) the Yankees did win, they did score nine runs, but Hughes didn't exactly look untouchable, surrendering five runs of his own, including a two-run rocket to Kevin Cash, of all people.

The fact is, the Yankees have significant resources to scout, sign and retain talent. Not everything works, but they can fix their problems a lot easier than most other teams. It just takes brains and savvy and luck to turn that giant pile of money into success, which they've done more recently.

For all the supposed even-handedness of the Yankees broadcasters, the sideline/clubhouse reports are so grating, so pointless, so uninformative and so understandably irritating to outsiders and fans of teams that rise and fall, but mostly fall.

And another thing ...

If World Cup refs need a lesson in curse words, I'm free to teach them some, possibly all of them. In context, too.

Bad loss, but it gets worse

World Cup starts today. In a word:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Also, Burnett can't give up a run or runs in the same situation a rookie escapes ... just can't. Of course, it's a different discussion if he doesn't mistake every first-inning batter for the catcher's glove.

Love and generosity

Also, I landed me one of those special design Yankees T-shirts.

Dis one ...

It's little out of my element, but I like it.

The Mrs. got the Teixeira shirt.

Dis one ...

Rain rain go away

I remember trying to play baseball in rain.

It is, to say the least, unpleasant, forget about difficult.

That said, the O's have to win that game. The Yanks looked disinterested and tired, and the O's starter was looking pretty good, 'cept for those squirter curves he was chucking toward the plate.

You get a couple guys on and the hottest hitter in baseball, you lead evaporates thanks to a chopper and the rest is history.

I wonder what it must be like to play for a team that finds so many interesting and inevitable ways to lose.

Anybody notice ...

That Strasterheimburg guy pitched for the Nationals last night.

I think he did OK. I didn't see anything on ESPN this morning that overshadowed coverage of two finals series and, puke, the World Cup, which I think the rest of the world cares about a little.

I bailed on the Yanks last night when it 12-3. I wake up to 12-7 final, WTF? How do you allow a team like the Orioles, hopeless and heartless, to creep back into that game?

Phil Use (welcome back Michael Kay) gave another solid performance, while John Sterling once again proved he has neither shame, nor dignity. A "Granderson slam"? Grandy Man Slam would have been worse, I guess.

Give Sterling credit. He has a great job, he knows it and he loves, even if he goes too far sometimes. I criticize because I'm jealous.

Or not. Window opened and closed real fast. AJ didn't have much.

No Michael Kay, no umpire impersonators. Gonna be a good night.

Blown call is one thing. Blown perfect game is completely unacceptable.

Where have you been?

I've been here ... you know, thinking about blogging, but not actually doing so.

Lappy blew out and the boss man doesn't necessarily like it when I post from my phone. So, I'm either late, or absent. Sigh.

Anyway, the Yanks are hot again, reassembling their lineup - is there a guy nicer or more polite than Curtis Granderson? Pretty good player too - and working out their pitching. Sabathia and Vasquez have been mediocre and less than good, Burnett has been up and done, but old dog Andy Pettitte and Phil Hughes - the probable ace of the staff - have been rock solid.

People get all worked up about Mariano Rivera. Yeah, he's 40, but 24-year-old closers get hit, too. The guy is healthy and smart and even if he's lost a few miles on his fastball, last night's performance was vintage.

Nick Markakis spun himself into the ground trying to dodge a heat-seeker and dribble a grounder. Ty Wigginton flailed at an outside pitch and did the same, although he didn't luck as chuckly as the Yankees did when he refused to be tagged out.

It took a while for the Yankees to get their act together last year and that turned out pretty well. This year, they're deeper and younger and more athletic.

If I were building the lineup, I'd have Gardner hitting ninth and Swisher hitting second. There's talk of Gardner being hesitant to run when Tex and A-Rod hit, but that wouldn't be a problem with Jeter and Swisher. Jeter shoots the secondbase hole naturally and Swisher has better plate discipline. Gardner on the move would be less of distraction. And at the plate, Gardner would likely feel less pressure to try to hit the hole if Jeter were on base.

Did I mention I love having Curtis Granderson on the Yanks? I do. It's just, please John Sterling, with the singing, please, stop.

Banned, suspended and chilled out

Yanks banned iPads from the Stadium.

I have two thoughts: (1) Suck it Mac. (2) Put down your gloves, your phones your foams fingers, you chicken fingers, and watch the game.

Is is just me or have the Yankees once again been bitten by junk weather?

Michael Kay won't shut up about October baseball in Minnesota. In case he didn't notice, October/November baseball in New York is no picnic.

So, the ball hit his finger. You learn in Little League, keep your hand behind the bat. It's a simple, simple technique.

How the hell do you hurt yourself bunting? Are pitchers made of porcelain? That is pathetic.

Bow down to them ...

Bow down the kings of garbage, the kings of filth, the kings of putrescence (Ha! spelled it right on the first try, although I spelled neither "right" nor "on" correctly on the first try.)


Three in a row. Suddenly they look like a team with a bunch of injuries and a shite bullpen.

Ugh.

Dear "SNL" peeps

Please stay away. Fred Armeson attended the 5-hour Yanks/Red Sox game Tuesday night.

Tracy Morgan (and Grizz and Dotcom from "30 Rock") were there last night. You show up and bad things happen.

I assume those four seat behind home plate are NBC's, but please, give them to the "Chuck" cast or something. You guys are killing me.

Yes, I gave up on them. Yes, I've learned my lesson.

Maybe Joe West is right.

If anything good can come of a damaging 3-run bomb, it's watching Kevin Youkilis hit the deck. Gutsy, if uneven work by P. Hughes.

Comfortable until it isn't

Dear Joe Girardi,

You are the putz. I realize you aren't dealing with Little Leaguers or high schoolers, you're dealing with a billion dollar franchise, the New York media, the Steinbrenners, those braces, but for cripes' sake man, you couldn't let Joba complete that meltdown? He got saddled with the loss, anyway, and Rivera looked awful, so why not?

Yes, statistically Rivera eats up left-handed hitters, but is 80-year-old Jim Thome getting around on Joba? Unlikely, at best.

Also, when will you stop pitching to Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau? Did you wrong them in some way and now you're trying to make amends. Superior pitching gets them out, maybe. Damaso Marte? He gets pelted. They aren't affected by you're lefty-lefty matchups. They're hitters, true hitters. They don't step in the bucket, they don't swing at junk.

It's been a while, so I just wanting to heave some more criticism at you.

Thanks,

John

All in all, though, the Yanks have weathered their injury storm to the point you forget they are missing their centerfielder, their (alleged) DH, and some key pitchers.

It's really a toss up as to which young Yankee is having the biggest affect on the team but it's probably Phil Hughes, who looks unhittable, then Francisco Cervelli, who's making Jorge obsolete behind the plate (Jorge, just DH!) and Brett Gardner, who is unlike anyone the Yankees have had in years, if not a decade or more.

Big series coming in the next few days. Beating the Sox is always nice, but beating the Rays is more important.

Rapper stars and awkward moments

Is it ever a good idea to have no-baseball guests in the booth for games?

No. Never.

Eminem and Jay-Z made a "big announcement" during yesterday's game in Detroit, which, sure, the two of them doing what Ken Singleton called "home-at-home" concerts (good call Ken) is kind of a big deal, but despite the two rappers presenting themselves well and Michael Kay embracing his whiteness and not trying to yo-yo them into oblivion, you still got the impression that:

Jay-Z and Eminem are shy, or at least uncomfortable doing interviews that don't require extreme behavior or bravado. They also seemed more interested in what was happening on the field.

Most people have nothing in common with those two guys. Maybe some people — friends or those who grew up in similar circumstances — did at one point, but starting in poverty and getting where they are puts them in no-man's land. The may have credibility because of their backgrounds, but they can't go back, and they don't actually fit in the circles of wealth.

Michael's Kay best question, "Would you trade what you have to play a sport?" wasn't answered properly, it was answered with deference to the players. Essentially: No, baseball is too hard. But that wasn't the question.

Also got the impression Eminem wasn't much of a baseball fan. The Lions talk got him excited, though.

Best moment was at the end when Kay and Singleton almost shook hands with each other. Each looked at the hand in front of him and, quickly identified it was the wrong color, looked at each other, and redirected.

Second best moment was Kay telling Eminem what a great song "Lose Yourself" was, and how it was responsible for his great shape. Is he joking? Is he serious. The guy's a cowboy hat shy of being Twinkie the Kid.

Oh, and Yankees handed out a beat down. Finally.

Say it with me: Phil HA-ughes - not Ughes - is a beast.

Joba, act like you've done it.

See previous post ...

.. about Jose Valverde related losses.

Last night, in lieu of Yankees baseball, I enjoyed "Straight Outta L.A.," Ice Cube's 30 for 30 documentary about the Raiders.

Great piece. But Al Davis should be the villain in some, any, super hero flick. He is horrifying.

Two in a row

Losses are fine.

Consecutive losses are fine.

Losses in which Jose Velverde, or whatever his name is, records a save, are unpalatable.

Who celebrates throwing a strike? That guy. Who looks like a he never quite learned how to throw a baseball? That guy.

On the other side, Joba threw something like 15 pitches in his eighth inning and what did he do after mowing down three Tigers batters? He walked off the mound looking slightly embarrassed. No fist pumps, no screaming. He acted like what he did was exactly what should have happened. Helpless batter after helpless doing nothing but flailing and missing.

If there was any debate remaining about what Joba is and what he should be doing, it's done. He's a reliever, and the heir to Mariano's throne.

And Ortho guy can do better than that picky wench. Weeds, not grass. Face punch.

There's nothing worse than bored, drunk Sox fans. I almost feel sorry for them. Then I remember Josh Beckett is a piece of crap.

Dear Red Sox fans

Your team got swept by the Orioles.

The Orioles.

Just swish that around in your mouths for a little while. How's it taste? Like a losing record and a disaster of a season in the making? Yeah, that's how it tastes.

Javier Vasquez is becoming a blackhole in this Yankees' rotation and they still look as if they could win 100 games (barring injury).

Hey honey, I'm in the mood ... To get in our individual claw-toe bathtubs and watch the sunset. Ugh.

Holy cow Joba just pounded that Red Bull. That stuff is putrid,

So, I was somewhat worried about the Orioles, but the Yanks have been hot and the Orioles have plummeted to Earth. A team is only as good as its starter.

All is right with the world

I hate soccer, but the euros have one thing right. Team play for position in certain leagues.

Play poorly and get demoted. MLB should consider the same thing. There are too many teams as it is. The talent is spread too thin.

After inexplicably stealing Game 1 of their series, the Orioles returned to their form and the Yankees returned to theirs.

I'd like to think a catcher is a catcher, just a dude who sits behind the plate and waggles fingers, but the Yankees have consistently pitched better with first Jose Molina, and now Francisco Cervelli. AJ Burnett looked unhittable last night, and there's something about Cervelli's energy that must be contagious.

Jorge Posada is a borderline Hall of Famer, but the results are undeniable. Considering Nick Johnson's inability to do more than strikeout looking, maybe it's time to ease Posada into the DH role. We all know he can still hit. Have him catch two games per week and let Cervelli handle the bulk of the duties. Posada would benefit from rest and so would the pitching staff.

SI cover

Only Derek Jeter has the sense to pretend as if he's not part of the nonsense happening on this week's SI cover. Do photographer's hate their subjects? Do they have some need to find the worst of the photos and pretend it's the best.

SNL had a great sketch about goofy photo shoots. Jack Black was the host. "No one's point at me!"

This photo screams everything it shouldn't scream about three married men and NY's most eligible bachelor - well, again, DJ is doing his best to get away.

There is a little old lady in NJ who is displeased. Losing to the Orioles is an shame of the highest order.

One bad call and kaboom. Wally Bell is awful. It's like opposite day with him. But Hughes survives. Nice.

Back East

Fate conspired to keep me from my coughbelovedcough blog.

But, with fate having gone on to bigger and better things and the Yankees heading back east, I guess this is the time to establish some consistency with my coughbelovedcough blog.

Things I like so far:

Andy Pettitte: Of course, I've always been a fan. But he looks as good as he's ever looked. He's throwing all he pitches and gets outs in every conceivable way. He's the anti-Vasquez.

Curtis Granderson: His troubles against lefties are overblown. His defense is fine and he's a triple waiting to happen every time he leaves the box.

Brett Gardner: Speed never slumps. His success is making the Melky trade tolerable. Sort of. Gardner gets to first and chances are he'll be on second. It's a nice change for the base-to-base Yankees.

Francisco Cervelli: Good energy. He looks genuinely excited to be on the field.

Phil Hughes: He looks like he could throw a no-hitter every time he takes the ball.

Things I dislike:
Joe Girardi: The Yankees win in spite of him

Damaso Marte: The Yankees lose because of him. Wish Phil Coke was still here.

Joe Girardi: Walk him. No pitch to him. No walk him. No pitch to hi ... uh oh.

Joe Girardi: Still with the braces?!

What?! No four hours of baseball?

I read a book. I encourage you to do the same.

Blast from the past

Haven't see a reliever go three innings in a long, long time. Especially three inning of that quality.

I certainly hope some reporter somewhere wrote the following lead: It was a grand way for the Yankees' new centerfielder to make his mark on the greatest rivalry in sports.

I love shitty puns. Get it? "Grand." Because his name is Granderson? Sigh ...

I spent most of the game watching some dink in a bright yellow shirt seat swap his way to the front row behind home plate, waving and gesturing like some ... well, like some moron who thinks he's more important than what's happening on the field.

George Will made me do it

If, as Michael Kay has asked repeatedly, Brett Gardner is the everyday leftfielder, why sit him last night?

Speed doesn't slump. And, while Curtis Granderson is the everyday centerfielder and struggles against lefties, he started against Jon Lester, and lashed a single to right in one of his at-bats.

Righty Marcus Thames, who fits nicely into the work-the-count Yankees, is inferior defensively and prone to strikeouts. And, Gardner got into the game late anyway and picked up a ducksnort single off Hideki Okajima, a tough lefty.

Dave Robertson started the 8th inning because Kevin Youkilis was 1 for 6 against. 1 for 6. We're not talking about some chump on the Royals, we're talking about the guy who is arguably the Sox best hitter and a chronic pain for the Yankees. You have Joba Chamberlain in the bullpen, superior in all ways to Robertson, who came in later that inning anyway and picked up two strikeouts, yet you allow Youkilis to start what could have been a rally for Boston. And you nearly turn over the lineup to force Mariano Rivera to face Victor Martinez and Youkilis in the ninth.

I'll type this many times this season: The Yankees win despite Joe Girardi's decisions.

How do you allow Okajima to face Derek Jeter when you have a righty warming? Even if that righty spent the last two years in Japan and later allowed Robbie Cano to lean into a hanger for a useful insurance run?

Does anyone in baseball throw an easier 95 than Jon Lester? The Sox would have been better off giving him the Beckett money.

Still four hours

But it could be worse.

Let's hear it for umpires who don't grant time out every 10 seconds.

Batters were so desperate they started asking the pitchers instead.

Hoping pitchers and catchers pick up on this just start taking the free strikes.

Joba looks great out of the bullpen.

Perspective

The Yankees are the most underachieving team in baseball.

I went to bed at 11 pm last night, with the Yanks up by 2.

The game was heading into the bottom of the 7th. At 11 pm, I should have been able to watch an entire baseball game. But no, thanks to MLB (an 8:05 start for the national broadcast Opening Day showcase?) and those two teams, I have no idea how long the game went, nor do I know how it went.

One down, 161 to go. And I'm already sick of Michael Kay.

Final thoughts for Opening Day

Some chucklehead is going to question LeBron James' focus, being at a baseball game after his team lost, even though he scored 42 points.

Dr. Dre ... Red Sox fan? Oh no.

And Ken Singleton, it's "duress," not "durest."

And ...

I don't need to know the pitch count.

Situational baseball

A double steal? Of home?

Matty and I used to run that in Little League. Same results too.

Oh, and even though he got the hit the salvaged the inning, fine Brett Gardner for diving into home.

So far, so good

Early observations for the new season:

Michael Kay welcomed us to Baltimore.

Good start for old man Jorge (cheapie) and young man Curtis (not so cheapie).

DirecTV is garbage. Picture's gone fuzzy too often on a clear, nearly perfect night.

Josh Beckett and Nick Swisher must be on the same diet.

The commercials on YES are lower caliber than last year.

How is the Red Sox defense better with Victor Martinex behind the plate?

Granderson's arm is better than I thought.

Let me be the last ...

To welcome the new baseball season.

Hardly seems as if it ends these days. But, unlike most fans of baseball, I'm completely disinterested in the hot stove season, as it is unfortunately called.

As a Yankees fan, it's a lose-lose. Either the Yankees make big acquisitions (last season) and get crucified for ruining baseball and buying championships. Everyone loves a dynasty, a big dog to gun for. Or the Yankees do amazingly foolish things ... Jason Giambi, Kevin Brown, Randy Johnson, Javier Vasquez the first time (meaning giving away so much to get him, then dumping him in full-on panic mode) ... and they get crucified for TRYING to buy championships and still ruining baseball, but being dumb about ruining baseball and not even reaching the goal they obviously should every season. Duh.

So, bring on Sunday, and Opening Day and the real stuff. Much like the vast majority of the Yankees roster, I neither care about Spring Training, nor am I worried about losing my job because I make take a few months or weeks off.

The season is a marathon after all.

Now let's start picking 'em up and putting 'em down.

Standing O

Joba - bullpen.

Problem solved.

Where have I been? MK2

Right here,

But the Jeter talk forces me to break my silence.

Dear Yankees,
Sign him.

Dear media,
Shut up.