Monday, August 31, 2009

Don't say it. Don't say a word Michael Kay.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Joba Rules

Three innings. Three. That's Joba's new limit? Despite him mowing down lifeless White Sox batters one after the other, Chamberlain was fored to depart after three frames. Al Aceves, Damaso Marte, Dave Robertson, Phil Hughes and Phil Coke pitched the final six.

I'm sure Joe Girardi et al were just tickled with having to deal with this scenario. Under any circumstances, your starter going three innings is a liability, and using five more pitchers to cobble together a win would cause problems for a week or more.

But not, apparently, when it's planned. I don't get it, but at least this stupidity is over after this season and Joba will be treated like any other pitcher.

Winning, of course, overshadows this idiocy, so let's be happy the Yanks are racking up wins, playing good defense and getting great pitching, whatever the circumstances.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Celebrity spotting

Well, now we know who can afford the seats right behind home plate at Yankee Stadium: Jack Nicholson, Lorne Michaels and Paul McCartney - and the 20-something-year-old candy on his arm, who, by the way, dances like me.

That's an odd trio, discounting the female, and I wonder if it just so happened they all showed up, unaware of the others' plan, or, you know, Lorne called Jack, or Paul called Lorne ... It's highly unlikely Jack calls anyone. When you're that call, people call you and you decide who you'll grace with the presence.

I've seen Tracy Morgan - and some people I assume were with him - in those seats, which makes me wonder, additionally, how exactly you get them.

Anyway, we see the difference, again, between a pitcher and Joba Chamberlain. Andy Pettitte isn't exactly gassing batters, but he gets outs when and how he needs them, ahead in the count or behind. Two on, no out, here's a roller to third for a DP and he'll finish the inning with a strikeout.

Unfortunately, Pettitte picked up win No. 189 last night, putting him in third place in Yankees history. He should be No. 1, by far. Nothing against Whitey Ford, but Pettitte wasted a chance to solidify his place in Yankees lore. Still I expect he'll be around at least another season, which should see him eclipse 200 wins in pinstripes. I hope he gets there.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dear Joba

You frustrate me so. I can't even watch the games you pitch any more. You're handed a four-run lead and you immediately and foolishly squander it, indiscriminately surrendering two-out runs ... to the Rangers, at team that is, at best, mediocre.

You should be a setup guy, but I realize, in some ways, you have no control over this. I blame your failures, mostly on the Steinbrenner children, who seem to think they can somehow, by handing down stupid, counter-intuitive directives.

You can't finish batters, you can't finish innings. You cost your team wins, despite their best efforts.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Long and annoying and probably redundant

Jim Rice is really picking at the low-hanging fruit, isn't he. Much like this humble blogger piling on him for idiotic statements made to a captive audience of children, who, I'm sure, when told Jim Rice would speak to them, said, as one, "Who?"

Yes, childrens, Jim Rice. Hall of Famer, kinda. Generally pleasant guy, not really, and certainly a role model for how to conduct one's self in the public spotlight. Yes, Jim Rice, slugger-ish, although remove one giant green wall from his statistics and you get, who? Steve Balboni? Rob Deer? 208 of his 382 home runs were hit at Fenway. Think of that what you will.

C'mon, Jim. You're not better than that. We all know it. You're grumpy and jealous and that's cool.

You're wondering why a selfish, brain-dead putz such as Manny Ramirez and be embraced by fans, despite the absurdity of his antics. Just last night he played a single into a triple ... just Manny being Manny. Oh, and Manny acted like a child, held out, has Satan's dad for an agent AND still got paid what he wanted to play where he wanted. THEN got suspended for PEDs. And no one but reporters, your favorite people, seemed to care. OK, he does look like a homeless guy in his uniform, which is approximately eight sizes too big. AND he violates Joe Torre's short-hair team policy every day, but that's more a knock and a slight against Torre than anyone else. But this is a different era.

You're wondering why Alex Rodriguez, also linked to steroids, linked to Madonna and Kate Hudson and apparently universally reviled by MLB players, who also happens to have Satan's dad for an agent, got not one, but two atrociously over-reached contracts for a guy whose baseball skills are measured only in now questionable home runs and little else. Oh, and his hair is bleach-tipped. I bet that just burns you up. But this is a different era.

But you're wondering mostly why everyone, even people who hate Derek Jeter, love Derek Jeter. Derek Jeter, the crowned-prince of New York. Derek Jeter, first-ballot Hall of Famer. Derek Jeter, who'll have significantly better statistics than you and at least four World Series, plus a pretty bitchin' nickname, when it's all over. Jeter will undoubtedly take his place among the legends of the game, for his play, for his character, for what he did and when and where and how.

So, Jim, what exactly was the point you were trying to make to children who barely knew you or your resume? Were you trying to teach children the right way to play - the right attitude and techniques? Or were you trying to prop your own ego by picking easily recognizable targets and wagging your crusty old finger at them, hoping one or two young brains would catch your vibe ... and do what, exactly? Ask for your autograph? Say you were wronged by baseball for having to wait so long for entrance into the Hall of Fame?

What's funny is the guy you went in with truly deserved to be there, but was a more likely target of your criticism. Was there a bigger showboat in MLB than Rickey Henderson, a guy who wore chains and neon-colored batting gloves and flashy sunglasses and literally walked to first 100 times each season? No, but Henderson was the best of his kind, a revolutionary player that combined speed and power, who single-handedly changed games. But Rick mercifully and conveniently escaped your outburst.

Hopefully Jimmy will spare our children and stand down from his misguided soapbox and do what most guys of his generation do, sign a limited number of autographs on specific memorabilia at the grand openings and reopening of Home Depots and local grocery stores. And hopefully, hopefully, those sponsors will take a zero off his paycheck each and every time he utters an opinion, even if it's "My, those are nice tiles," or, "Hey, I like Doritos, too."

Not surprisingly, Jeter and Rodriguez handled the incident with class. Manny probably has no idea what's going on, and probably doesn't care.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Slop breeds slop
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

I think that pretty much sums it up.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Long live the bean ball

This West Coast stuff is awful.

Waking up the next morning, assuming the Yanks won is a far cry from recent seasons, but still garbage. I usually manage to watch a few innings of every game, but with my schedule, I just can't stay up that late.

So, instead of some pithy game chat, I thought I'd write a little about in-game justice. Recently, The Bulletin ran a column decrying the art of the bean ball. It was written by a neurologist who worked with the Yankees in some capacity or other. But I wonder if he ever actually played sports.

See, what's lost in the chatter about drilling a batter, is there actually is a very real need to pitch inside, to pitch effectively inside and yes, to occasionally doink the guy in the batter's box. I'm not advocating targeting a guy's head, but I am saying hitting someone is a necessary part of baseball.

If you consider the ball is a weapon in the pitcher's hand, what exactly is the bat? Or the line drive back up the middle? Pitcher's are taught to land square, be ready to field their position. Some simply don't, and they pay for it. Sometimes a ball is traveling too fast to be fielded cleanly or even blocked.

Does MLB put padding on the pitcher? A screen? Move the mound back? No. It's an assumed risk by every player that's just part of the game. Sometimes you catch the ball, sometimes to ball concusses you.

I'm fully in favor of teams policing themselves, of pitchers retaliating on behalf of a teammate who may have been hit for one reason or another.

Sometimes a guy just needs to be hit to send a message. Consider how close to the plate and how far out over the plate Barry Bonds stood. And he wore a plastic sleeve on his lead arm more appropriate for the gladiatorial pits of Rome. You pitch inside, he leans in takes his base. You pitch away, he launches a steroid fueled bomb in McCovey Cove.

David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez victimized Yankees' pitchers for years because no one EVER pushed them off the plate. And this after years of Pedro Martinez head-hunting anyone in pinstripes. Roger Clemens threw one pitch shoulder high and on the inner half and Ramirez acted as if a grenade had been tossed his way. You crack Ramirez on the back, on the knee, and suddenly he's not hitting flaming line drives up the rightfield gap. But, now, I suppose, that's water under the bridge.

Two things need to happen: Pitchers must be taught the need and the art of throwing inside, and batters must be forbidden from wearing any protective gear larger then an index card. I'm all for a modest elbow guard or hand pad, but the armor some of these guys are wearing changes the game. You don't see a hockey goalie toting a tower shield and butterfly net. There has to limits and the have to be enforced.

Too few pitchers intimidate batters anymore. And those guys were the ones to watch. The term "effectively wild" applies to, say Nolan Ryan, who could paint the outside corner at 97 mph, but also scorch your pants, just because you got a little too close. And then, for good measure, if you came at him, he'd turn your face into a speed bag.

How about everyone take some responsibility and understand how the game is played. Pitchers, establish that inside corner. Batters, you get brushed back, stay in there and get a hit. If you get on, go wipe out a middle infielder. I guarantee the second basemen would have a thing or two to say to his pitcher.

And so, I repeat, long live the bean ball. It's always been a part of baseball, I hope it remains a part of baseball.

Now, let's talk about the facemask on the batting helmet ...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Did he twirl his mustache?

Brett Tomko has his revenge!

Really? In five innings? After spending less than half a season in pinstripes? C'mon.

Sure, he pitched well, but this whole "scorned lover" deal is so over-rated. He pitched well, Burnett hurt himself in one inning, and the Yanks spent their other four frames flailing away at relievers.

Of course, I'd rather see the Yanks go 0-fer against the Red Sox than lose two in a row to the Mariners and A's.

Oh well, still seven games up with the season's end coming fast.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Derek, would you say you have a plethora of hits?

Derek Jeter took the lead as the all-time hits leader for shortstops this weekend.

Can you quietly collect 2,674 hits as the Yankees captain? Jeter seems to have done just that, en route to the Hall of Fame.

He's been heralded as a clutch player, and derided for his alleged limitations on defense. But he plays almost everyday, makes nearly every play, and piles up big hit after big hit. Are they all screaming line drivers into the gaps? Nope, some, such as the early hump-back double he dropped down the rightfield line in yesterday's loss, are just great hand-eye coordination and a little luck.

Pete Rose amassed 4256 hits, about a quarter of which were for extra bases. The vast majority of those were doubles. Jeter has an outside shot of catching Rose. Jeter's average 179 hits in his 15 seasons, including 1995, when he played only 15 games and collected 12 hits. He has 153 this season. He won't sustain that pace, which suggests he'd need about another decade. Possible, but unlikely, as he'd almost certainly have to be either an outfielder or DH for some of that time.

A little disappointing

Yanks win another series and it feels like a three-game slide.

Joba continues to underachieve. Another 5-inning performance, marred by hanging sliders, and then an inexplicably awful outing by Alfredo Aceves. Oh well, 74 wins and heading to Oakland.

And now two old timers have come out against the Joba rules. First, Tim McCarver in a Fox broadcast called them arbitrary and questioned what doctor decided 140 to 170 innings was all a 23-year-old's arm could handle. Now, Tom Seaver, who knows a little about pitching, says the limits will stunt Joba's growth.

I hate pitch counts and inning limits, but at the rate Joba's going, he'll reach his pitch limit before the innings limit. He threw 90 in his five innings Sunday.

Seaver said this in an mlb.com interview: "These people today don't understand what it means to walk off the mound after holding the other team down for nine innings, the feeling of triumph for your own team -- and the effect it has on the players in the other dugout."

I don't see Ichiro play often, but the more I see him, the more thankful I am to have Hideki Matsui, who can't run, is questionable at best in the outfield and who boasts an arm only slightly better than Johnny Damon's.

Ichiro seems to be fully aware of how good he is, playing flyballs like a combination of Willie Mays Hays, Rickey Henderson and Tony Manero. And it's one thing to think no one can catch you, but fully another to run your team out of an inning trying to steal third with two outs and two on. Does he always play like that? I wonder. Or was he trying to impress his countryman? Who knows.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Late late show

Not sure what I'm more excited about about: CC Sabathia going eight, not the requisite seven to which Yankees starters seem relegated or Hideki Matsui going bonkers. The old guy can swing it. Can't run, can't throw, but boy can he swing it.

Is it just me, or do Sabathia's pants look like riding breeches?

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Keep on brawlin' in the free world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovWE2X93pt4

There are far too few fights in MLB, so kudos to Youk for charging ...

Failing grades, however, for tossing his helmet and following the projectile into battle. That's low, using a distraction against a guy that clearly wants no part of you. And, for getting flipped. Rick Porcello had a better chance of uprooting a fire hydrant, and yet up and over goes Boston's angriest resident.

Seriously Youk, get some counseling. And a ShamWow! for that enormous, perpetually greased dome of yours. It's gross. Porcello wasn't scared of your helmet or your fists, he didn't want to drown in your goatee you meatbag.

Oh, and Yanks win again!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Ha! I called Damon's shot. Matty D called Tex.

Still, not having Hughes almost cost.

Huge win.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

There it is ... A-Rod always gets the beaning.
Pitching and defense. That's the third time Youk's tried to knock out Jeter. And failed. This turnaround is unbelievable.
A sac! Woo hoo!!
So, there's Kurt and Goldie and Kate. Who's that other dude? He looks like Kurt, if Kurt were using Rod's roids. Son?
Yup. Rally ... Dead. Amazing.
Two on, no out ... Just square and put the ball on the ground.
Unfortunately, I said it would happen in the 14th. Missed it by that much.
How many times can the Yankees screw up two and no out?
In the 7th, I said to the dad. "You do realize there's only one way this game ends, right? After all this, A-Rod's gonna run into a flat slider."
And now I'm mobile?

Friday, August 7, 2009

We're 1-8, we're 1-8!

I remember being told in Little League, you always slide. Umpires would tell us, slide or you're out.

So, I wonder if Jorge Posada ever got that message. Jorge clearly had no idea what Melky, properly positioned and doing his job as the on-deck hitter, was telling him to do.

Furiously waving and pointing at the ground? While I'm running toward the plate and the crowd is going bonkers? What could you possibly mean?

That's an inexcusably lazy mental lapse on Posada's part.

Still rolling up 13 runs against the hated Red Sox is a good thing. The Red Sox are a shadow of the team they were at the beginning of the season, and I think it's a foregone conclusion the Yanks should and would win this opener against Smoltz.

It's a shame, really. The guy still looks like he knows what he's doing, but that nasty stuff he used to have is just a fraction off, and it's obvious.

Tonight, I expect A-Rod to get beaned. Maybe twice, after the Pedroia incident. Up 13-4, I doubt it was on purpose. With Josh Beckett and AJ Burnett, things could get interesting real quick.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

My competition

Last night was a happy time for my wife.

While Nick Swisher was helping the Yanks win, her new favorite man, Christian Kane (really, that's his name?) was doing his thing on our new favorite show, "Leverage."

Notice any similarities?




Sure, Swisher has since cut his hair, but ... anyway, tough to compete with country singing action star and Yankees rightfielder. Sigh ...

Bring on the Sox.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

It wasn't a dream

Fell asleep last night with the Yanks leading. Woke up for Matsui's late homer. It's a blur after that.

I remember the disgust on Halladay's face the last time he pitched against the Yanks, as they hit homer after homer. Didn't notice it this time. Can't blame the new Stadium, joke that it is.

And how about A-Rod? First inning two-out RBI double and then scores on the double error by Halladay and Barajas. Of course, he nearly ran himself into an out on his hit, then he inexplicably stopped, started, stopped, started coming around third while Halladay fumbled Millar's throw. Luck trumps skill every time.

From mlb.com: "I just got very lucky," Rodriguez said. "It was actually a very soft slide. I think the ball was so exposed that I nipped it a little bit, and it just popped out." Indeed.

With a little late help from the Rays, the Yanks extended their slim lead to 1.5 games.

Happily, the Yanks that were 0-8 against the Sox this season are a distant memory. I'm predicting 3 of 4 this weekend.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Windy City beat down

This weekend did not happen, like "The Next Karate Kid," "Rocky V," and the time I crashed into a diner.