I knew I saw your dad on "Fantasy Island"

I watched “Mr. And Mrs. Smith” on FX HD last night. There’s been discussion at work lately about the most rewatchable sports movies. “Major League” and “The Replacements” are high on that list.

Similarly, I’ll watch “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” every time it’s on, edited or not. It’s a great flick. Brad Pitt can do no wrong - ever, and don’t argue with me about this - and although I resent Angelina Jolie being smashed in my face as THE go-to female action star, it’s hard to imagine anyone else in the role.

Vince Vaughn — not the character, the actor — always struck me as unnecessary, an afterthought, as if the producers just thought it would be fun to have him around. Anyone could have played Pitt’s buddy, but who doesn’t like Vince Vaughn? Really, who? No one? Good, then we’re agreed.

Shooting at each other, having sex, then shooting at the bad guys and blowing up your house in the process can be amazingly therapeutic but tough to explain to your insurance company.

In any case, it’s a slick action romp, sexy and smart, and especially welcome when Phil Hughes can’t through a strike, again ... and the Yankees get the bases loaded via the walk in two innings and do nothing to capitalize against an enormously over-rated Tigers team ... the Yankees bullpen, however was rock solid again. Four scoreless in Mussina’s win against Cleveland and 5-plus against the Tigres.

During commercials, I at least had the pleasure of watching Tigers Manager Jim Leyland age five years every time his pitcher threw ball four. And then watching Yankees Manager Joe Girardi age 10 years every time the Yankees trotted back to the dugout with a zero on the scoreboard.

Huh ...

So, the Yankees have crawled above .500, and they seemingly salvaged the 10-day road trip. At least, that's what Michael Kay wants us to believe.

What this last game in Cleveland produced was 5 so-so innings from Mike Mussina and 4 tremendous innings from an overworked Yankees bullpen. My wife wants me specifically mention Kyle Farnsworth. "Say something nice about him," she instructed me. Here goes: He pitched a great inning, staying on the corners and changing speeds. With Brian Bruney down, Farnsworth will have to pitch as if he has a brain in his head if the Yankees are going anywhere. Tonight was step one in that journey.

The 5-2 win wasn't domination, but the Yankees did prove turnabout is fair play. After the Indians pushed two cheapy runs across, and credit Mussina for limiting the damage in the bottom of the 4th, the Yankees turned two infield hits, a solid single, a hit batter and two ground balls into a 4-run swing and a 2-run lead. It's great to see an inning like this from the Yankees. It wasn't loud. It wasn't pretty. Johnny Damon's 8th inning walk and a skidding double up the gap from Hideki Matsui provided a need insurance run.

Mariano Rivera is inhuman. His mechanics never change. His velocity has been 93 mph since Day 1. His cutter still eats up bats and now he's throwing a 2-seamer to lefties. He's gone 11 innings this season. No walks, no runs, four hits, eight saves in eight tries. He's amazing, and every times he steps on the mound, it's a clinic of repetitive motion. It's been 13 years and the only thing that's changed, slightly, is his hairline.

Pitiful

I’m worried.

Wanger’s on pace to win the Cy Young, and Yankees are on pace, and yes, it’s early, to absolutely stink. Injuries and underachievement are rampant on this team, and Joe Girardi just stands there, looking smug and sometimes completely confused.

Jorge Posada’s hurt, Brian Bruney may be gone for the season. Mike Mussina and Jason Giambi are dead weight. Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy look like rookies, with the exception of the last two innings Hughes threw against the ChiSox.

The only bright spots thus far are Wang and Mo Rivera, who’s got it backwards. You pitch like this in your walk year, not AFTER you get the big contract most people think is overpaying for a body of work likely never to be seen again.

At 13-13, the Yankees are ahead of only the lowly Blue Jays in the A.L. East. They’re looking up at the Rays, Orioles and Red Sox. It’s never too early to panic.

I hate you Joe Girardi

Joe Girardi is an idiot.

Phil Hughes goes 2 innings. Two and #@$%& rain comes. Our brain dead manager believes a 21 year old can't sit for 15 minutes or 20 minutes, get warm again and go get 'em.

Hughes was having arguably his best start of the season, throwing strikes getting ahead. Gavin Floyd can go back out, Hughes can't. Sense = zero.

The future is now Girardi! Now!! What are you protecting these guys from? Joe Torre was saddled with awful relievers for too long, so he relied on and probably wore out Mo Rivera - although you couldn't tell this year. Girardi, it was suggested, is gun shy from wearing down young arms in Florida. Nonsense. You let these guys throw. Let them build arm strength. Let them succeed when they're on the verge of it.

But no. Two innings.

By the way, Joba isn't unhittable, he's just crazy good most of the time. He had to fail some time, it's just a shame it happened last night, magnifying Girardi's awful decision making. Maybe if Joe relied less on stats and "the book" and went more with his gut ... oh wait, this is modern, progressive baseball.

Puke.

I'm loving Paul O'Neill and David Cone in the booth with Michael Kay. A hitter, and pitcher, a bloviator. Modern Yankees who still have ties to the team and old school sensibilities. Can't beat it.

Back from the dead

The Yanks got 7 strong innings from Mike Mussina tonight en route to what will likely be their 3rd win in a row.

But win or lose, Mussina finally, finally looked like a guy who's come to grips with his stuff and, more importantly, put faith in his catcher. Mussina shook off Jorge Posada once, by my count.

Mussina made two mistakes, and paid for both with home runs. The radar gun looked more like an AARP age range, but his location and speed changes, 83-63 kept the White Sox off balance all night.

Consider too, against the Red Sox, Mussina was throwing his fastball in the mid-80s and getting shelled. By pulling back just a little, he seemed to have a better idea where his pitches were going and the White Sox' bats were just a little too fast..

I've been calling for Mussina's head, but if he's set aside his stubbornness, maybe he can salvage his season and help the Yankees. By winnign games and truly being a mentor to those young guys (Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy) behind him.

We won two nights ago ...

We won yesterday ... if we win tonight, that's called "a winning streak." It has happened.

Wanger was shakey, but he gave the Yankees enough to win. Now, Mussina takes the mound. Argh. So much for the winning streak.

The Yankees showed a little resilience last night against a tough opponent, hopefully that will carry over.

A-Rod's injury is nicely timed with his scheduled absence for the birth of his daughter. Incidentally, research shows having a daughter costs $250,000 from birth to age 18, much more than a boy. At that cost, A-Rod's good for what, a thousand daughters? Get to work buddy.

Is anyone surprised Kyle Farnsworth gave up another junk homer last night? No? I thought not.
Hank Steinbrenner needs to sign more checks and talk less. A lot less.

No excuse for bad pitching, but ...

The Yankees have a day off. At 10-10, the team’s light years ahead of where they were at this time last year, but but they still stink. While their hitting hasn’t been stellar, their pitching has been awful. Mike Mussina’s done. Finished. And the children, Phil Hughes and Ian Kennedy look terrified to throw the ball near the plate.

Andy Pettitte and Chien-Ming Wang, excepting Wang’s last start, have been what the baseball cards say they are. Pettitte’s 2-0 in his last two starts, going 7 strong in each with 10 strikeouts and 3 earned runs. His ERA is 2.45 with 25 2/3 in 4 starts. Wanger got a no decision his last time out, but he’s still 3-0 with a respectable 3.81 ERA. His 7 walks are troubling, but he has one bad start in four when he’s up and wild. Those guys have vastly different styles, but they throw strikes. Smart strikes. They change speeds. They allow the ball to be put in play and turned into outs.

Mussina, Hughes and Kennedy are 1-8 on the season, and have thrown 50 2/3 innings combined. They’ve walked 26 batters. Contrast that with the 51 2/3 innings from Wang and Pettitte, and their 14 walks. Not hard to figure out why the Yankees are where they are.

Hughes and Kennedy have great stuff. Better than Pettitte at least. But Pettitte gets ahead of batters and doesn’t beat himself. Mussina’s nothing more than a batting practice pitcher at this point and if he throws another pitch to Manny Ramirez, Joe Girardi should be fired immediately.

Finally, Kyle Farnsworth got three games for missing ManRam. Figures. Let it be said, there is rampant anti-Yankees sentiment throughout the league and this is just another example. A-Rod gets drilled by the Red Sox. No biggy. Pete Martin sends Alfonso Soriano and Derek Jeter to the hospital, no problem (Sox again). Hideki Matsui gets plunked twice in the same game (Sox yet again). That’s fine. Shelley Duncan got suspended because Jonny Gomes (Rays) turned a 200-foot running start into a face plant into the back of Duncan’s legs. The pinstripers give a suggestion of retaliation and off to the naughty box you go. Farnsworth’s appeal will be upheld and he’ll likely get 2 games, instead of three. Still, it’s obvious and it’s garbage

Mussina, you make my butt sting

I’m torn.

We witnessed, I hope, the end of Mike Mussina’s career with the Yankees. Mussina looked as effective against Manny Ramirez as Rick Vaughn was against Clue Haywood. The difference being Wild Thing eventually figured out he could get the ole No. 1 passed the mustachioed villain (played by Peter Vuckovich). Mussina’s No. 1 moves more like No. 2 on a cold day, and Ramirez’ blasts should be the nail in the aging starter’s coffin.

Glasses ain't gonna help Mussina like they helped Ricky.

On the other hand, someone finally did something about Ramirez simply standing in the batter’s box and comfortably swatting at Yankees pitchers’ offerings. Ramirez getting buzzed is horribly overdue and possibly too late.

That said, it doesn’t surprise me Farnsworth missed. Drilling Manny in the back is the necessary move there. Not buzzing one by his head.

Ground control to Major Manny

It's tough to dislike Manny Ramirez. He kills the Yankees. More than David Ortiz, more than that &*%#@$-ing pest Dustin Pedroia. The guy looks absolutely clueless, yet he plays a respectable leftfield and hits anything that's round and white. Speed doesn't matter. Bend doesn't matter. Location doesn't matter. Manny sees the ball. Manny hits the ball. And runs usually score.

Manny is always Manny.

The Yankees needed this win. With Chien-Ming Wang looking shakey - too strong maybe, everything was up and flat - their offense came to life, and more importantly, got key hits and maintained pressure. LaTroy Hawkins and Brian Bruney stepped up as well, providing four scoreless innings. Surrendering a 4-run lead and fighting back, in early April, when the Yankees traditionally stink, is big. A $200 million team shouldn't be happy with treading water, but history says otherwise.

And so, Hawkins finally gave up 21. It took a talk from Derek Jeter and Jorge Posada to get him to do so. It's unbelievable Hawkins didn't know the significance of 21 to Yankees fans. Morgan Ensberg did, and wanted nothing to do with it. Hawkins was booed Opening Day, and in every appearance at the Stadium, no matter what he did. I predict Paul O'Neill's 21 and Bernie Williams' 51 will be the first numbers retired at the new Yankee Stadium as a way to carry the dynasty of the late '90s into the new park. I wouldn't be surprised if the Yankees decided to retire 2, 6, 20, 42 and 46 while they were at it. Probably should retire 24. Twice. Rickey Henderson deserves it as much as Tino Martinez.

This picture should bring a tear to any Yankees fan's eye. It's one of the lasting memories of that team I have, and, aside from Jeter's flip in Oakland, it's the most unbelievable thing I've seen or heard on a baseball field. That Yankeeography still gives me goosebumps. That part anyway.

Robbie Cano and a lotta Mo

It shouldn't be hard to watch a baseball game. And yet ...

The difference between Mariano Rivera and anyone else in the Yankees' bullpen is astounding - excepting Joba Chamberlain, who's a rare combination of overpowering a stuff and remarkable control. Still, as good as he is, he isn't Rivera, and won't be for a long time.

Brian Bruney missed his spots and paid for it, nearly costing the Yankees a much-needed win, especially on a night when their sleeping offense awoke, for a time anyway.

Cano's pinch hit bomb can't be underestimated for it's timing and significance. Cano's been awful all season and he was put in a situation where he couldn't think, he had to do. I think this is what led to his success last year, that and Larry Bowa screaming at him everyday. Cano's natural ability is off the charts, but his mind wanders and his lack of concentration is evident at times. Still, he came through tonight. Hopefully this will get him going.

Too bad for Ian Kennedy, who toughed out a rocky 6th inning only to be drilled by a liner in the 7th and sent to the locker room. He deserved a win tonight.

Good to see Derek Jeter back in the lineup. There's something reassuring about his presence.

Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt

Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt Bunt.

You have 1st and 2nd and no outs in the 8th with the heart of the order coming up, down by two, and you let Johnny Damon ground into a double play? Melky Cabrera has run himself into two double plays in this series. Take that out his hands. Damon will get the bunt down and you give Robbie Cano and Bobby Abreu a chance. Against Javier Lopez, who looks like a star instead of the stiff he is.

This is awful, and with the Yankees not scoring and their pitching looking horrible except for Wang, this season has the makings of being a total disaster.

God I hate Kyle Farnsworth.

"You know, it didn't work"?

I needed to digest this for a while.

This is what we get as a reason for Mike Mussina pitching to Manny Ramirez and turning a pretty good outting into garbage and a loss? Not, "boy, I made the worst decision possible there," or, "Wow, I can't believe I'm the only one on Earth who thought Mussina could get Ramirez out."

Leaving Mussina to pitch in that situation was the absolute wrong move, hindsight or no. Mussina simply doesn't have the stuff to get by. And, oh yeah, Ramirez went deep his first time up. He wasn't locked in or anything, was he? At least walk him and face Youkilus. That's makes a little more sense. But no, let's let the idiot savant stick it to us again. Usually it's Ortiz killing the Yankees in those spots.

What a wasted game.

Wanger the Assassin

93 pitches and done. Wanger was deadly tonight. And although he's usually unreadable, he had a certain something that said "I mean business." I love complete games. In today's game, they just say so much more. A pitcher overcomes not only the opposition, but a trigger-happy manager - not just Joe Girardi - who thinks he has to go the bullpen to get people out.

He's an Asian terminator sent to the U.S.to get ground ball outs.

Bobby Abreu has apparently overcome his fears of walls, but not his height limitations. Maybe a bigger glove would have helped pull back that JD Drew moonball. I'm surprised Drew didn't hurt himself rounding the bases.

Anyway, Abreu did leg out an infield hit that gave the Yankees a critical insurance run in their win against the Red Sox tonight.

The Yanks RISP hitting was atrocious again, but they got the runs they needed.


And you still can't say too many good things about Jose Molina. He's the best backup catcher in baseball, and probably would be a starter on most other teams.

A win's a win

“Progressive thinker” Joe Girardi juggled his lineup and got six runs, including three home runs from his Yankees. They needed to salvage that game, and did. Andy Pettitee has a history of being a stopper and came through again,

Good riddance to K.C. Watching those games was completely depressing. If I want awful weather, I live in New England, I can just look out my window every other day.

And now on to Boston. Maybe I’m deaf and blind, but the hype machine hasn’t kick in yet. Maybe it has something to do with the 6-3 Balitmore Orioles sitting in first place.

2 runs ... 2 games ... Royals

Really? Two runs? Zack Greinke and Mike Bannister? This is awful. Banged up, maybe, but still, the Yankees should be scoring five a game, at least. I understand it's cold and dreary, but two teams are in it.

Still, the Yankees weren't awful yesterday. Brian Bruney was impressive in terrible conditions as an emergency starter. Thanks Kyle Farnsworth for making John Buck look like Babe Ruth. Straight fastballs get hit. Hard and long. He'll learn that at some point.

So, the Yanks need a stop from Andy Pettite, who wasn't so good last time coming off the DL. Gotta be the man this season Andy.

How about those Royals? Young, cheap teams that win are "scrappy." Good pitching. They're running at will. Those Royals. Watch out for them. Until about May.

Oh, and was it just me or did it seem as if Ken Singleton and David Cone were justing hoping for a psychotic episode from Greinke. "Well, you know Kenny, Greinke has had mental issues in the past. He got treatment for them in ... he could go bat-shit crazy at any moment. Who knows what he's capable of? ... There's another strike from the righty ..." Terrible.

I'm getting tired of Red Sox unveiling ceremonies. If I never see Bill Buckner all choked up, with his brill-creamed hair and giant-sized stache, it will be too soon. He looks like Dick Blumenthal's porn star brother. "I ... just had ... to ... forgive ... not the fans ... of Boston ... the media." Get over it Bill. Your play cost the Sox a World Series and probably drove a dozen or more people to suicide. All because you couldn't field a groundball.

Runs are good

Six and 11. Runs and hits, season highs for our heroes. More importantly, Mike Mussina was a galaxy away from the suckage I expect from him. Even Kyle Farnsworth looked like he knew what he was doing.

Timely hitting and good pitching will win you a game every time. Now on to Kansas. Or, as Bobby Abreu calls it, Gassa. I think ...

Prediction: Paul O'Neill and Bernie Williams will be the first numbers retired at the new Yankee Stadium. It's a shame someone took O'Neill's number for this season, but my gut tells me this is the last we'll see 21 and 51 in pinstripes.

Hopefully Jeter's leg isn't too bad.

Finally, John Flaherty mentioned how much the Yankees probably miss Larry Bowa. Based on Robbie Cano's less-than-stellar fielding, this may be more true than we know.

Fighting the forces of jack-assery

Good stuff from Wanger again. Six strong innings followed by what appears to be the Yankees' recipe for locking down victories: Chamberlain to Rivera. Have the Yankees had a better combination in the last decade or more? No, they haven't. Rivera seems rejuvenated coming in after Chamberlain does his thing. Credit Robinson Cano for a slick DP to close out the eighth.

You can change the name of a team, but it's still the same team doing the same stupid things. Despite Cano's brain dead attempt to barehand a feed from Jeter on what should have been a force at second, the Rays promptly ran themselves out of what could have been a disastrous inning for the Yanks. It wasn't a blown sign, the batter squared and runner was coming home from third, but the batter pulled back. Gotta do something to protect that runner. The Rays are better, and their pitching is much improved, Jackson was great Saturday and Shields was good today, but ... they're still the Rays and they'll still finish no better than fourth. Maybe third if the Blue Jays' pitching falters.

Good to see signs of life from Hideki Matsui, three hits today including the eventual game winning two-run homer.

Haven't seen much of Bruiser Gomes this series, except he short cameo in Saturday's win. He hit a three-bomb and should have had another. And didn't get plunked? Isn't that why Kyle Farnsworth is on the roster? It certainly isn't for his ability to hold leads. Farnsworth should have been in the face Gomes, drill him and then power-bomb him in the ensuing melee. And yet ... nothing. Maybe it's too early. But it will happen.

Also, let me finally get around to a nice round of uncontrollable laughter for Pete Martin yanking his hammy and going on the DL. Of course, I expected his shoulder to explode at some point this season. This was just an added, early bonus.

Much to my relief

Yankees relievers have been great, mixed in with awful starts from Mussina and Kennedy tonight, who didn't help himself and wasn't helped by home plate umpire Doug Eddings, who was erratic at best. Hello run-on sentence.

Of course, as I write this, Cliff Floyd just took Latroy Hawkins to the woodshed. That ball had a vapor trail.

In any case, the relief has given the Yanks a chance to win or sealed the deal in every game this season. Something to look forward to if the core guys stay healthy.

Hooray for bunting

Give me guys that can bunt and run any day.

Offense is anemic, but 2-1 is better than 1-2 any day, especially the way Toronto's pitchers performed in this opening series.

Give the Yankees pitchers their due - except Mike Mussina, you dog. Wang was great, and Hughes kept them in long enough. Camberlain to Rivera is pure genius.

Wanted: Offense worth $200 million

Where the hell is everyone? Halladay, sure. Burnett. Great stuff, unhittable at times. Dustin McGowan? C'mon. Leadoff hitter's been on a lot, but gone no where. 2-0 in the 6th but here come the Yankees. I think I said that already.

I can't get enough of Michael Kay and Paul O'Neill talking about O'Neill's wife throwing out his career's worth or memorabilia. That's grounds for divorce if you ask me. Mom tossing comic books? OK, she didn't know. Wifey didn't realize the pure white baseball with Joe D's autograph on wasn't the original? Did she bother to look?

Never has one man loved the sound of his own voice more than Michael Kay.

Too much A.J. Burnett ...

Not enough Mike Mussina. Mussina wasn't horrible, but he's done. He was done two seasons ago.

It's 5-0 in the 7th but this game was over much earlier. The Yankees can come back, sure, but I think Burnett stuck a dagger in them - probably in the 3rd inning.

Of note tonight was Jose Molina gunning runners down. Not sure what Daddy Molina's got going in the old gear box, but he sure can make catchers. Jose's probably the best backup catcher in baseball and he's a great fit for the Yanks.

Derek Jeter had Bob Sheppard record his at-bat intro. Sheppard's battling an illness and some other guy - whose name escapes me and no I'm not looking him up, screw you Google - has been filling in. Jeter would think of this. And good for him. Sheppard is the voice of Yankee Stadium, and has the most distinctive voice in baseball. If I were Jeter, I wouldn't want anyone else introducing me. If I were Jeter, I wouldn't be writing this blog. I'd be wondering why I'm 0-3 and I tried to take second on a ball that went only about 20 feet beyond 1st on an overthrow.

He's got a plaque!

Jason Giambi, who hasn't hit anything yet, is having an adventurous time in the field. A 1st inning error cost the Yankees a run. Granted, Mussina dogged it covering the bag, but still. Then he and Mussina tried to re-enact that play, but somehow managed to get the out. Then Giambi went kamikaze into the first base camera box. He did save Jeter an E though.

And here come the Yankees ... 5-2 compliments of A-Rod. And bye bye Burnett. So much for daggers ...

By the way, does anyway care or need to know A-Rod may or may not have had sex with Jose Canseco's wife? Ex or otherwise? I thought not.

Besides, would you rather sleep with A-Rod, or a guy who thinks wearing that shirt is a good idea?

We win!

The royal we anyway.

Take that Doc Halladay. I'm sure that 314.5-foot game tier Melky Cabrera dropped into the right-field seats isn't sitting well, nor should it. Bet it doesn't sting quite as much as the curtain call Melky took right after - during your windup. The Yankees take too many of those, by the way.

Joe Girardi is much more likable as Yankees' manager. He's tight-lipped, to the point. Not the rambling annoyance he was as a broadcaster.

As for the game, the pitching was solid and the hitting, somewhat timely. The Yanks scored enough to win, great, but they wasted a chance for an insurance run with Johnny Damon's eighth-inning leadoff triple. Neither Derek Jeter, nor Bobby Abreu (three hits combined) could push the run across, and after a walk to A-Rod (two hits), Jason Giambi tapped out as well. This sort of thing plagued the Yanks last year. Too many wasted chances.

Give Giambi some credit though. He looks great and he made two solid plays tonight. He snared a Marco Scutaro liner destined for right field and another Blue Jays run, and he stayed out of double play between first and second in the (seventh) inning the Yankees pushed across the go-ahead - and ultimately winning - run.

No surprises from Chien-Ming Wang. Limit damage when necessary, pound the strike zone.

Joba Chamberlain and Mariano Rivera were lights out. No surprises there. But please Joba, more fastballs. Kyle Farnsworth fell in love with the breaking stuff last year and repeatedly got burned. 3-2 sliders? Really? When you throw 98 mph with movement? That's why you're the setup guy and Farnsworth is shivering in the bullpen in the eighth and ninth innings.

So, Mike Mussina takes the hill next. Why? Just to quickly prove he's washed up? Please, Mike. Prove me wrong.

And the marathon begins.

Play ba ... argh!!!

Stupid rain.