A-Rod better be careful.
If his mom gave him Nyquil when he was 12, she may not be allowed near the team.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
And now for something completely different
Derek Jeter is one of a handful of athletes featured in a new Gatorade “G” commercial.
Sir Jeter the Gifted.
It’s a knockoff of “Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail” complete with livestock catapulted from a castle and a bizarre, mime pop/lock dance routine. I’m not sure what that had to do with “Holy Grail” but anyway ...
It’s a fair effort by Gatorade, with likeable athletes/pitchmen, Jeter, Kevin Garnett and (I think) Jimmie Johnson (the NASCAR driver - he’s not an athlete) dressed in goofy, ill-fitting suits of armor. Misty May and Kerri Walsh are wasted as a two-headed ... thing, a shaky nod I assume to the three-headed giant from which Sir Robin “bravely ran away.”
Most commercials are uninspired.
Bravo to Gatorade.
Here's the youtube link if you haven't seen it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_jJoGDG4UE
It's nearly 9 minutes long.
AROD.com
This may be the most self-important, self-congratulatory Web site I have ever seen.
The first thing you’re treated to is John Sterling’s call of an “A-bomb” from “A-Rod.” Although Sterling seems unconvinced the ball will leave the park.
Personal accolades flash across the screen and settle, one atop the next.
Then pictures of A-Rod. Action shots in uniform, “casual” shots of A-Rod in a fancy suit.
There’s a list of videos featuring other home runs.
There’s photo galleries.
There’s a journal by Alex.
“Day 13 of using the unknown substance adminsitered by cousin [redacted]. He’s a wizard with a needle. I’m not sure if the unknown substance is having any effect, but I’m young, and naive and stupid and taking this unknown substance sure helps with the pressure of playing in Texas ... where we have no pitching and a bunch of kids I won’t want to play with pretty soon. Michael Young and Mark Tesh Tas Tix ... the tall guy ... they’re OK, but these other guys ... gosh, my left cheek hurts ...”
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Stick and move
AND he's not even sure he did whatever he did correctly.
Even at 24, A-Rod was the best player in the game. And he probably had a team of handlers monitoring his every move ... advising, assessing, calculating ...
And he's not fool. He knew what he was using. Knew what he was injecting. Or what his cousin was injecting.
Why does it seem these butt-injectors are just lining up? If my cousin asked me to stick something in one of his cheeks, the answer would be a resounding "NO."
Even at 24, A-Rod was the best player in the game. And he probably had a team of handlers monitoring his every move ... advising, assessing, calculating ...
And he's not fool. He knew what he was using. Knew what he was injecting. Or what his cousin was injecting.
Why does it seem these butt-injectors are just lining up? If my cousin asked me to stick something in one of his cheeks, the answer would be a resounding "NO."
Learn and move forward
A-Rod's cousin?
Wasn't that the same speech Michael Irvin gave when explaining his friend and the crack pipe.
Why, if you're a world-class athlete, would you inject into yourself a substance you were ignorant about?
He was curious?
Young and stupid?
Young and stupid is drinking too much beer, maybe going home with a girl you just met, who may or may not be a girl ...
Wasn't that the same speech Michael Irvin gave when explaining his friend and the crack pipe.
Why, if you're a world-class athlete, would you inject into yourself a substance you were ignorant about?
He was curious?
Young and stupid?
Young and stupid is drinking too much beer, maybe going home with a girl you just met, who may or may not be a girl ...
Does A-Rod need to have a press conference?
No.
Do I need to watch it?
No.
His Giambi/Pettitte gambit backfired. He had to know it would.
Ugh
Do I need to watch it?
No.
His Giambi/Pettitte gambit backfired. He had to know it would.
Ugh
Thursday, February 12, 2009
This is gonna hurt
Bobby Abreu signed with the Angels for $5 million.
$5 million?! He could make $8 million.
He had a $16 million option with the Yankees, which they declined. That made sense. Allowing him to get away for that price, to the Angels, doesn't.
The Angels give the Yankees fits. Abreu will be a problem.
$5 million?! He could make $8 million.
He had a $16 million option with the Yankees, which they declined. That made sense. Allowing him to get away for that price, to the Angels, doesn't.
The Angels give the Yankees fits. Abreu will be a problem.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Second glass of juice
So A-Rod confessed to using steroids.
Jason Giambi threw himself on that sword, sort of, and his problem, if there was one, went away. I say it was overshadowed by his absolute idiocy on the baseball, but whatever ...
Andy Pettitte admitted to using HGH to “recover from an injury.” Don’t hear much about that these days.
A-Rod was probably hoping for a similar pass. “Oh, he admitted it. Well, OK, everyone was doing it, so it’s fine Alex, we forgive you.”
I went from A-Rod hater to A-Rod apologist and back to A-Rod hater in these last seasons. But I give him some credit for admitting he used. Despite his previous denial. He told Katie Couric he didn’t need enhancers, and that fact is, that’s true. Whatever is his motivation, he used and now he’s saying he used. If he’s clean now, and we assume he is based on clean tests and fewer home runs - 40-ish compared to 50-ish during “the juice years,” he deserves the same treatment Giambi and Pettitte received.
Jason Giambi threw himself on that sword, sort of, and his problem, if there was one, went away. I say it was overshadowed by his absolute idiocy on the baseball, but whatever ...
Andy Pettitte admitted to using HGH to “recover from an injury.” Don’t hear much about that these days.
A-Rod was probably hoping for a similar pass. “Oh, he admitted it. Well, OK, everyone was doing it, so it’s fine Alex, we forgive you.”
I went from A-Rod hater to A-Rod apologist and back to A-Rod hater in these last seasons. But I give him some credit for admitting he used. Despite his previous denial. He told Katie Couric he didn’t need enhancers, and that fact is, that’s true. Whatever is his motivation, he used and now he’s saying he used. If he’s clean now, and we assume he is based on clean tests and fewer home runs - 40-ish compared to 50-ish during “the juice years,” he deserves the same treatment Giambi and Pettitte received.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sound and fury signifying juice
So, A-Rod used steroids in 2003. Allegedly.
So what?
They weren’t illegal. EVERYBODY else was doing it.
Are we surprised? No. Disgusted? Meh. Maybe. He’s going to be the home run king. And I’m willing to assume he hit the majoirty of his home runs while clean. At least, he has been since 2003 and his reported steroid test failure.
The upside to all this is there’s been precious little talk of “Joe Torre’s book.” Which I’ll likely have in my possession by the weekend. Can’t wait for that.
So what?
They weren’t illegal. EVERYBODY else was doing it.
Are we surprised? No. Disgusted? Meh. Maybe. He’s going to be the home run king. And I’m willing to assume he hit the majoirty of his home runs while clean. At least, he has been since 2003 and his reported steroid test failure.
The upside to all this is there’s been precious little talk of “Joe Torre’s book.” Which I’ll likely have in my possession by the weekend. Can’t wait for that.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Finding Jesus (that's hey-SUS)
I haven't blogged much recently, duh, but I can't ignore "A-Rod annoyed Madonna has found Jesus."
Jesus, in this case, is a Brazilian model.
This is hilarious and bizarre and annoying.
I can’t stand this kind of press for the team. It’s distracting and stupid and everything that’s wrong with sports. On the surface, it’s strange Derek Jeter doesn’t get the same kind of coverage, but this points out the deeper, fundamental difference between the two players.
Even bottom feeding reporters who work for rumor rags have respect for Jeter’s privacy, despite his infrequent, yet highly publicized forays into the realm of starlets.
A-Rod, on the other hand, seems fair game under any circumstances.
How weird is your life when you’re (1) the most talented player in baseball on the biggest team, (2) newly and publicly divorced, (3) linked to Madonna of all people, also newly divorced from the very awesome Guy Ritchie (4) and embroiled in some odd Kabalatino love triangle? What don’t we know about this situation? And do we want to know?
I wonder if A-Rod suckled onto Madonna for some kind of spiritual guidance. His flameouts are well-known. For all his talent, he wilts when the heat is on - again, he’s the anti-Jeter. Does he think Madonna is some kind of gap-toothed Dali Lama? She’s just a crazy aging - hell, old - pop-star who’s only going to make his life more of a circus. Is he thinking, “If I adopt a kid from some obscure third-world country, I’ll totally hit .400 with runners in scoring position and two outs. And maybe I’ll get to meet Justin Timberlake, too!”
A-Rod traditionally has strong odd-year seasons. He’s won his MVPs in odd years, but something tells me this is going to be a legendary implosion.
If the Yankees win without him, and they should, I’m going to enjoy this ride immensely.
Jesus, in this case, is a Brazilian model.
This is hilarious and bizarre and annoying.
I can’t stand this kind of press for the team. It’s distracting and stupid and everything that’s wrong with sports. On the surface, it’s strange Derek Jeter doesn’t get the same kind of coverage, but this points out the deeper, fundamental difference between the two players.
Even bottom feeding reporters who work for rumor rags have respect for Jeter’s privacy, despite his infrequent, yet highly publicized forays into the realm of starlets.
A-Rod, on the other hand, seems fair game under any circumstances.
How weird is your life when you’re (1) the most talented player in baseball on the biggest team, (2) newly and publicly divorced, (3) linked to Madonna of all people, also newly divorced from the very awesome Guy Ritchie (4) and embroiled in some odd Kabalatino love triangle? What don’t we know about this situation? And do we want to know?
I wonder if A-Rod suckled onto Madonna for some kind of spiritual guidance. His flameouts are well-known. For all his talent, he wilts when the heat is on - again, he’s the anti-Jeter. Does he think Madonna is some kind of gap-toothed Dali Lama? She’s just a crazy aging - hell, old - pop-star who’s only going to make his life more of a circus. Is he thinking, “If I adopt a kid from some obscure third-world country, I’ll totally hit .400 with runners in scoring position and two outs. And maybe I’ll get to meet Justin Timberlake, too!”
A-Rod traditionally has strong odd-year seasons. He’s won his MVPs in odd years, but something tells me this is going to be a legendary implosion.
If the Yankees win without him, and they should, I’m going to enjoy this ride immensely.
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