Chance for redemption

Yanks have a 7 p.m,. tilt with B-More tonight to salvage some dignity, although it won't salvage the series.

All-Star voting has started. This process always drove me nuts. It's primarily a popularity contest, without regard to stats thanks to ignorant fans capable only of name recognition, and it resorts to conciliatory Little League rules by forcing a player from every team onto the rosters of each league. This is horrible, but very American, at least very modern-American. You participate, so you deserve to be rewarded. Sometimes, it's better to just let the losers stay home.

Be aware, you can vote up to 25 times for your favorite player. 25 times? Whatever happened to "one man, one vote"?

Trouble on the mound

What a waste.

Once Mo Rivera was out, the game was done.

Rain, bad breaks, doesn't matter. This game has to be won. It wasn't. The Yanks fall two games under .500, again.

And now the Joba experiment recommences. The Yanks probably win tonight if Joba's available.

Instead, our heroes rely on LaTroy Hawkins for two games and he chokes both times.

Thanks for nothing Hawk.

Bonus baseball

Nine wasn't enough, thanks to some laughable pitching for the first half of this second game of a three-game set against the Orioles.

Curious why the umps forced the Yanks to bat in the downpour, then called for the tarps right after Hideki Matsui lined out to end the top of the ninth.

There's two or three potential all-stars here ...

Five in a row, and the fifth the sweetest of the bunch.

I think that's the first time the Yanks have come back in the late innings. It took a little luck, and Ichiro being uncharacteristically lazy in centerfield, but it's good to see the Yankees battling, showing heart. Bunting! Huzzah for small ball. And saving Wanger from himself. He was awful today, but he's been a hard luck guy twice this season, losing once 1-0 and getting taken off the hook in Tampa (the Yanks lost that game).

Maybe Mount Girardi did send a message. Maybe Joe Torre simply would have sat passively on the bench and his veterans would have come around anyway. Who knows? The only thing certain in a manager's career is being the scapegoat for losing. You can't fire a 25-man roster, so you chop off the head and hope for the best.

Now the Yanks go on the road for what should be a relatively easy trip. Baltimore and Minnesota are up first.

We're going streaking!

So, now the Yankees are an offensive juggernaut. This probably has something to do with how bad the Mariners are, but that's fine - gifts horses and mouths and so on ...

Short of Richie Sexson's junk home run off Kyle Farnsworth in the eighth, and let's face it, Farnsworth was just throwing strikes with an eight-run lead, the pitching was good again Five from Mike Mussina, two from future starter Joba Chamberlain, and one from Fransworth and Jorge Veras to finish it.

The lefties are all catching fire at once, which makes sense since they've been sucking all together for most of the season. The Yanks pounded out 16 hits, must of which came from Hideki Matsui, Jason Giambi and Robinson Cano (three doubles for Robbie, who's found his swing, now that April and most of May are gone).

Everything's coming up pinstripes

Witness the offensive explosion and tremble. In a season that has seen nothing but disappointment, bad pitching and more bad breaks for the Yankees, they can do nothing wrong tonight against a hapless Mariners team.

Bloopers are falling, grounders are finding holes, hit-and-runs are working - and the pitching! Andy Pettitte looks like Andy Pettitte.

Even Robbie Cano just walked.

Maybe Joe Girardi going bonkers Thursday night is what our doughty pinstriped heroes needed. Or, maybe they were all just sucking at the same time and, as they say, backs of the baseball cards are kicking in.

Whatever, the Yanks are en route the win 23.

Mount Girardi

So, I missed the heroics last night. Figures. The Yankees play uninspired baseball for 8 2/3 innings, Joe Girardi goes postal on, from what I’m reading, was an inconclusive call at best, and then the magic happens.

Anthony DiComo’s MLB.com story about the game waffles, but he seems to think it was Girardi’s tantrum that sparked the exciting Abreu walk and Cano single to end the game.

http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/news/gameday_recap.jsp?ymd=20080522&content_id=2749488&vkey=recap&fext=.jsp&c_id=nyy

Maybe. Girardi, from my seat, had two choices - scream at the umpire, or have a stroke. The guy is so tightly wound and the Yankees are so awful, it has to be affecting his health.

Plus, he has Steinbrenners to deal with. Wouldn’t you rather work for Satan, or Bill Lumberg (look it up)? Yeah, me too.

So that's what winning looks like

Well, A-Rod can't do it alone, but he's trying.

And, as always, good pitching and timely hitting make managers look very smart. Now that Joba’s heading to the rotation, who’s out? Ian Kennedy gets a start tonight, and Phil Hughes is injured. Darrell Rasner has been lights out, but knowing the Yankees, he’s the odd man out ... unless they decide the young guys need more time in the minors or Joba flames out as a starter. It’s not Wang, Pettitte or Mussina, unless one of those guys gets hurt. My guess is it’s Rasner, and that’s neither fair, nor smart. Also, I find it funny he always looks slightly annoyed when he’s pitching.

Not sure what’s happening with umpires at Yankee Stadium. They were apparently the only ones, again, who thought a home run wasn’t.

Reaching up to touch bottom

Maybe this is what we should expect all season ...

Derek Jeter makes a 6-run error in the first inning, grounds into a double play in his first at-bat and then gets his hand crunched. Nice job by the Nike padded batting gloves Jeter has been sporting. No broken bones, but the sound was gruesome. I hadn’t noticed them until recently. Last advancement in this area was that floppy guard Jeff Bagwell used to wear.

http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200805202738347

There was an offensive explosion in A-Rod’s first game off the DL, it’s just a shame it happened to the Yankees, not for them. The only bright spot in this horrid loss was A-Rod’s 2-run homer, accounting for the only Yanks runs in a 12-2 drubbing. And he looked pretty good running. The Yanks are always hyper-careful with injuries, and they were probably more so with A-Rod’s enormous leg.

Mike Mussina deserved better last night. He’s been the Yanks’ second best starter, with Andy Pettitte seemingly in a constant battle against himself.

And Daniel Cabrera must hate the Yankees. He looks like the Latin Cy Young out there every time. He’s 2-0 against them in 13 innings, surrendering 11 hits and four runs. Oddly, he’s hit three Yankees’ batters ... two walks and seven strikeouts.

Good for LaTroy Hawkins. He buzzed Luke Scott last night, setting off a baseball fight, which generally involves a lot of finger pointing, F-bombs and posturing. Joba Chamberlain looked like he was ready to get a piece of someone, but Kyle Farnsworth, as I’ve noted previously, is the guy with the track record. He’s the guy you want in the fight. Hopefully, tempers will flare tonight and he’ll break someone in two ...

http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/media/video.jsp?mid=200805202738347

Finally, although Jose Molina is the best backup catcher in the history of baseball, but it’s clear why he’s a backup. He looks worn down. He’s getting lazy behind the plate, trying backhand balls he would normally square up to and take off the chest. His bat is dragging - he has 2 hits in his last 11 at-bats and 4 strikeouts and zero walks.

Bonus blogging: The John Flaherty drinking game: Drink every time he says “grind it out” or “he’s not trying to do too much.” You won’t remember your name by the third inning.

Words of thanks and disdain

Red Sox fans have bothered to comment on this blog, and for that, I thank them. Even Hapi, who, I think, is drunk when he posts, or at least on his way there. If this is a result of the Yankees stinking up Major League baseball embarrassing themselves and giving good reason to bulldoze Ruth’s cathedral, maybe it’s time for a little soul searching on our part.

The Yankees and their fans enjoyed many years of winning, and were probably the most hated team/fans in sports. Things get tough, and we disappear. (Of course, it may be no Yankees fans read this thing.)

There’s a special pace in hell for fair weather fans - be sure Marlins fans have already booked their flights. I sure hope Yankees fans aren’t headed that way.

Sisqo never imagined this

This will be the only reference to Jason Giambi and his yellow thong. In no way shape or form should this story have ever seen the light of day. I now have a totally unreasonable explanation as to why the Yankees are so lethargic. They’re too busy at their other jobs as strippers.

Where's Alvaro Espinoza?

Am I in a time warp? What year is this? It's 1992, is it? I was excited to make my "Apocalypse, Now," comparison. Now, I'm just sad. A-Rod can't save this team. Neither can Posada. A spiritual and emotional enema may be needed. More for me than the Yankees.

Whoda thunk it

Mike Mussina has somehow become unhittable. I'm happy to be wrong here.

Yankees' offense still stinks, but they did push across two, two-out runs, which is nearly unheard of for this team. And a win's a win.

The numbers say the league is on pace for 1,000 fewer home runs this season. Shocking. But better for baseball. Hopefully in five or so years we'll have players who can bunt and steal bases. Chicks dig the long ball eh? Even after they discover what steroids has done to that long ball hitter's body?

I thought not.

Ask me later why the Yankees are enacting the plot of "Apocalypse Now."

Things I remember ...

... about Troy Percival.

Flailing delivery.
100 mph fastball.
Dominant for a time as Angels' closer.

Unfortunate new memories replacing old ones.
Flailing delivery.
Mediocre fastball that seemed to catch batters off-guard.
Torso and legs same length, coupled with baggy jersey makes him look like a giant midget.
Mustache borrowed from 1970s porn star with side job as California state trooper. Percival tried to conceal the stache with a few days worth of growth. Something that hideous cannot be hidden. My dreams will be haunted by this facial hair.

Firing blanks

Chien-Ming Wang turned in another stellar performance, marred by a 2-out RBI from Eric Hinske, oh, sometime during this amazingly boring game ... which has been salvaged, for now, by Hideki Matsui tomahawking a ball into the rightfield seats off, wait for it ... Troy Percival? More on this later.

Festival of mediocrity

Maybe the Yankees are just a bad baseball team. Or, average at best.

Yes, their lineup is depleted, but most teams don't have Alex Rodriguez and Jorge Posada to begin with. They do more with less. Consider the Rays, who cleaned Andy Pettitte's clock tonight. They have one star - Carl Crawford - a couple good players - B.J. Upton and Carlos Pena - and a bunch of rookies a journeymen. The Rays pitch well and play good defense. They win. They're about to 10-0 at home in their last 10 games.

The Yankees don't pitch well, not consistently anyway, and it shows. They win one, lose one, win two, lose three, win one, lose two, win two. And their defense is sometimes suspect - with Robbie Cano's sometimes-I-don't-feel-like-it arm and Wilson "Stonehenge" Bettimit. Johnny Damon can cover ground in left, but he throws like a 3-year-old girl. Bobby Abreu is afraid of walls, Jason Giambi ... ick. Even Jose Molina, the greatest backup catcher in the history of baseball, is being exposed. He's now hitting .209 and it's affecting his defense. I feel as if I just pitched the lineup for "Major League IV: Now the Yankees suck."

It's said every team will go 60-60 in a season and it's important what a team does with the other 42 games. I wouldn't be surprised if the Yankees went 22-20 in those other 42 games. And I can guarantee that record will be anyone's fault but someone, or three someones, named Steinbrenner.

Stop the bleeding

Well, the Yankees came out on top in the battle of the Butterfly Ballers.

Despite their short-handedness on offense, their pitching has been pretty good and starts by Andy Pettitte and Chien-Ming Wang in the first two games of this series were simply wasted. Five runs in 13 1/3 innings between them, plus four scoreless from Kyle Farnsworth, Jorge Veras and Jonathan Abalablahblahblah should have been enough.

The headline on Yankees.com states "Bombers' bombs brush away Indians' brooms." Who writes this crap? Creativity is one thing, alliteration for the sake of alliteration is, well, not creative ...

Smooth transition:

You know who I hate? Dustin Pedroia. I like David Ortiz. He seems like a nice guy. Same with Manny Ramirez. Space cadet. I bet he's fun to hang around with. Pedroia stikes me as that guy who tried WAY too hard in gym class. And celebrated WAY too much when his team won at, whatever, handball or something.

Joba fails?

So, is it just me, or did Kyle Farnsworth and Joba Chamberlain switch bodies last night?

Farnsworth came in and threw gas at the Indians, mixing in a slider, but working up-up in the zone where no one is going to touch him. Farnsworth has done this his last handful of appearances and has been flat nasty. The guy we thought we were getting years ago.

Chamberlain came in for the eighth and threw curves and sliders, when he’s been spotting his fastball and making veterans look foolish. You could see David Delucci’s home run coming, Delucci probably could too. He knew Chamberlain had to come in, and any lefty can go yard at The House That George Tore Down. That mortar-shot off Delucci’s bat killed the crowd and neutered the Yanks, who got a solid 6 1/3 from Andy Pettitte, who seems to fight himself more than the other team.

Excepting Chamberlain’s wretched performance, the Yankees got good pitching again, 8 innings and two runs from Pettitte, Farnsworth and Jorge Veras who came in when Chamberlain made Mo Rivera’s warm-up routine pointless.

The only thing that irritated me more than Chamberlain acting like an idiot rookie was David Cone saying over and over, “Delucci just beat him to the spot.” John Flaherty was supposed to color with Cone for that game. Flash’s son was sick so he skipped the game. Bad for him and the family, good for the viewing audience.

Sad little Soxes

The pinstripers had a much-needed off day Monday, and take on the Indians tonight at home.

I forgot there was no game last night, so when I tuned in, a Yankees classic was just starting. I don’t do “classic.” If I saw the game, great. If I didn’t, as a much as I love baseball, I’m not going to spend three hours watching a game that may have happened 30 years ago.

In a fit of madness, I switched over to NESN, thinking I might watch the Sawx and Tiggers. I spent all of about three minutes there. The first commercial that came on during the break before the first pitch was for NESN HD, celebrating the greatness that is the Red Sox - Sox highlights flashed by, and then ... a Joe Torre-led Yankees team. The caption and I’m paraphrasing here: NESH HD: Where pinstripes don’t mean greatness.

Is this necessary? The Sox have enjoyed two World Series wins in the last three seasons. The teams have been, and will be competing for the title for many years to come. And yet ... and yet the Sox and Red Sox fans still can’t focus on what their team has accomplished. They live in the past. It’s 2-0 in the new millenium. Celebrate it, savor it. But no, you sully it by putting the Yankees in your own commercials, unable to break the inferiority complex you’ve lived with for so long.

It’s so sad. So sad.

Six strong for the Moose

Maybe Mike Mussina has learned how to pitch ... again. At 4-3, he's looking pretty good compared to the two youngsters the Yanks had been running out there.

Darrell Rasner's back after performing well at Triple A. A sweep againast the M's would work wonders for the Yanks, who seem more and more to be having an identity crisis. They aren't the mashers - at least not yet - people always assume they'll be. They need good pitching, duh, and timely hitting, which doesn't seem all that complex, but turns out to be more difficult than one would imagine.

Maybe going without A-Rod and Jorge Posada for a while will teach them to win by doing the little things, instead of waiting for the big home run. Small, smart ball would be a refreshing change. Plus, it's amazing how good quality starting pitching makes Joe Girardi look.

Strong like bullpen

Yankees relievrs have been pretty good this year, if not great.

Kyle Farnsworth was flat out nasty last night. I hope he keeps it up.

With Mike Mussina on the hill for Game 2 of this series, the Yankees are gonna need more than five runs.

Better tonight

Yanks are leading early against Erik Bedard, Seattle's dynamic lefty ace. Lefties usually murder the Yankees, especially ones they haven't seen before. Bedard's a known, having spent a number of years with the Orioles. That said, they've gotten two clutch hits tonight, from Hideki Matsui and Melky Cabrera, bringing home all three runs. Clutch hits are rare for these Yankees.

Thanks to the Mariners' defense for three erros in the first two innings.

More importantly, Bobby Murcer is back. He's been battling cancer and his voice is a welcome addition to the Yankees broadcast team. He contributes to the game, much like Paul O'Neill and David Cone have done more recently.

John Flaherty makes me want to tear my ears off. Al Leiter is hardly better. If the two of them read this, or, if anyone who knows those two read this, please, tell them I said shut up - just for five minutes. Shut up. You don't need to talk the whole time. Let the game happen. It doesn't need you and your constant analysis and repeatedly pointless comments. For the love of God, I implore you. Shut up!

Frodo never went on the DL

So, I've been playing Lord of the Rings: Battle for Middle Earth II, which I picked up for the reasonable price of $24.99 used at Gamestop.

While Andy Pettitte was getting whiplash from the Detroit Tigers, Marcus Thames and Placido Polanco took him yard (and hit another, not surprisingly off Kyle Farnsworth), erasing an early, very shakey 2-1 Yankees' lead, I was happily laying siege to Dol Guldur, the digital version of one of Sauron's strongholds.

I won't bore you with the details, but its walls fell to my relentless assault. I know you're all happy for me and my dwarven and elven allies.

About the time those walls were falling, the Yankees were meekly, despondently giving up the second game in their first series at home in what seems like forever. The pinstripers had one day off in April. One. I'm shocked this didn't become a union issue. They've been on the road for most of it, and I'm willing to blame at least 5 losses directly on the pope and his visit to the Stadium.

Michael Kay suggested this was just the baseball gods smiling elsewhere, perhaps Tampa Bay. Or, maybe it's something else, such as an organization that wasted too much money on overpriced free agents in the last decade instead of cultivating the talent that put them on the path the four World Series titles.

The Yankees have looked DOA in previous seasons, but that was the Joe Torre years, when you still had some hope the team would right the ship and get into the playoffs, if not better. This year, the pitching is worse than ever, and they aren't scoring. At all.

I've never channel surfed during Yankees games. Last night, a fat lady passing out while making a cake was more appealing. And boy was that cake amazing.