Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to tonight's main event.
In this corner, weighing at$200 and some-odd million, the Pinstripers of Panache, the Disciples of Discipline, the Masters of Manners, the the Connosieurs of Conscience, your New York Yankeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.
In the other corner, a man who's never hit more than 16 home runs in any full season in the majors, a man who claims a mechanical adjustment, and not the Brady Anderson workout DVD, is responsible for his suddenly leading the major in home runs. Your Toronto Blue Jays rightfielder, Joooooooooooooooooseeeeeeeeeee Baaaaaaauuuuuuuuustiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiista.
I know it's just Dustin Moseley, but if the Yankees are fighting by the fourth inning, they should all turn in their jock straps.
Baustista better have an ice pack on some exposed and vital part of his body. Hell, Cito Gastin and Vernon Wells better be honing their tag team skills for the Joe Girardi and Tony Pena undercard.
The Jays have a winning record, but haven't done anything other than show they're better than the Orioles, not the worst franchise is sports because the Pirates and Raiders are still franchises.
Tonight better be a war.
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